Thursday, December 6, 2012

Wholesome Monthly Euphemisms and Surgery.

Hello, humanity.

While I have my evening tea I've come to realize something about this last week... While, I've been busting my ass at work pulling double work. I began to notice on a Thursday morning why everyday at work feels like shit. It's because my roommate John has been watching the cheesiest movies you could find on Netflix. While it's true actors like Morgan Freeman are true artists whom will stand the test of time. I can not for the life of me understand "Wholesome Movies."
The fake corny movies where Mom is in the kitchen and Dad is the money maker. There's the problem child, with the heavy metal look, which also implies he or she does drugs. Than there is the littlest child who's got self confidence issues. The point behind these movies is the fact there's always a problem in the family household and someone outside of the family has to fix it. These two hour movie are the biggest bullshit I've ever seen in my life.
I'm not one to tell someone how to do there job. However, I do believe actors are not suppose to let on they are acting. Actors are suppose to be so natural they make the audience believe they are the character. The problem with the movies I've brought to light is the fact the adults will ham up the characters so much they forget it's a movie and just fuck around with the idea of "Fake Reality." We get it's a movie and the senerio is fake. Art immitates life and life immitates art. Thus, without one you do not have the other. For a movie to fuck this logical theory away which has worked for every successful movie.  This is why I don't get Wholesome movies. They're detrimental to actual families.

About two weeks ago I had to hold my first "Monthly Meeting." Where all the department heads and I sat around the table in the Goat Locker. I open up a book and we start off on page one. First off, before I even showed up to the meeting I had a little bit of the flop sweat. You know what I'm talking about. When the forehead starts sweating, the pits get going. Hell, for some of you people out there maybe a little bit of ass sweat starts going. I don't have this particular problem. The pit sweat is probably the one thing I'm always self conscious about. So, picture it. I'm in the restroom. I grab a paper towel, get it wet and wash my face a little bit. Than I grabbed two wads of toilet paper and put them in my arm pit.
Yeah, I just stuffed two wads of toilet paper into my shirt. After feeling satisfied, I walked into the meeting third to last person to show. Yes, let's recap. I was technically late to my own meeting.
After about an hour of going through the book and feeling accomplished with not only the meeting, but also the fact I didn't feel any of the flop sweat. I went back to the restroom to remove the used wads of toilet paper under my shirt in the arm pits. However, something happened... They weren't there. All of a sudden I start to wonder where between the restroom, the Goat Locker and back to the restroom did these two wads of sweat infused toilet paper fall out and land on the floor? I never found them. Yes, I retraced myself to possibly find them. To this moment I still wonder where they disappeared to. No, I don't have a personal connection to those two wads of toilet paper. However, I just really wonder if ANYONE had picked them up from the ground. How did they pick them up? By bare hand, maybe a rubber glove. Hell they might have used a dust pan. I hope they used a dust pan. Needless to say, the meeting went very well and realized two weeks later how much information I didn't get and next time how much information I will need from these department leaders. I'll also have to make a mental note to not misplace anything.

Has anyone ever heard of Euphemisms? You hear them all the time. In fact you may be using them now. I believe the worst of it is from the media. I wondered where does the media get it from. Then I found out the "groups" and "political parties" utilize these words to control you. I stack euphemisms next to words like: 'should,' 'would,' 'could,' have to,' 'ought to,' and 'need to.'
I found out four years ago, the words 'should, would, could, have to, ought to, and need to' are controlling words. Why? Because there is no reason I should have done, would have done, or could have done anything different from what I had done. Same as how I no longer have to be weighed down by people telling me I have to do this, ought to do that, or NEED to do anything.... Euphemisms are words which people in the government have recognized will keep people feeling good. It's always a plus to feel good in life. Well, here's some Euphemisms which I've ran across this last week which has pissed me off.
1. Adult Entertainment. By this you mean a multitude of things. I'll list two, however talk about one... Porno and watching strippers at a Club. How in the hell is watching a porno 'Adult Entertainment.' When I was fifteen I was watching Cinemax at Night. I wasn't an adult, nor were there any adults present when viewing this movie. Let alone these little fuckers whom haven't even reached puberty can go online and watch the really boring ones online. Either way.... A porno is a porno. Not a 'Dirty movie,' or 'Adult Entertainment.' Have you ever noticed a porno is when two people you don't know are fucking, but when you're fucking is called a sex tape? Aren't they all the same? I'd like to know who decided to define the difference and why it's a common euphemism?
2. Eternal Rest. A soft, wimpy word for dead. When one is dead, you are just a shell buried six feet under. Maybe you're a pile of dust in a box. There is no eternity, or rest behind this. At one point there will be no remains of oneself. Thus the Eternal part is irrelevant. The rest, however... is not really rest. I've had four hours of sleep and felt well rested. I can't understand, even wrap my brain around how death is restful. There isn't much to be had. At one point I'd like to know who died and woke up feeling rested. In any case one doesn't do much when dead. There's just a lot of live people doing work for you. Thus, "Eternal Rest" contradicts itself and should not be used.
3. Between Jobs. Have you ever ran into people whom say, "I'm between jobs." What it really means is these lazy fucks are UNEMPLOYED and are content with not doing anything. Not until a couple of months later when they do get a job and then when said persons gets a job. They're EMPLOYED all of a sudden. The point here, to say 'between jobs' makes the unemployed feel 'better' about life. Because this is the main point to Euphemisms. To make one feel better. Weather it's about sex, death or employment.
* I can go on these things for hours. Thinking, constantly thinking of more Euphemisms. I'll touch base with more in the future.

The dental appointment was just yesterday. I showed up exactly at 7:00. A full thirty minutes before operation. Being early I only had to sit in the lounge for five minutes before the nurse called for me. I followed her to the operation room and began getting comfortable. I took off my coat, hung my hat and began listening to Mike Oldfield's "Songs of Distant Earth" album. I don't know why, but the album always putts me in a chill-out mood. So, I'm hanging out and bull shitting and watching the corpsman do his thing. Now, Doc comes in and puts together a seringe of morphine. Than walks slowly to me. Horror style. For a moment, I almost freaked out and reality was near to Jacob's Ladder style. However, I opened my mouth and he began to numb my mouth... The wrong side of my mouth. Yes, I have two wisdom teeth. However, because of my Orthodontist back when I was a teen. My wisdom tooth on the right side serves a function as a molar do too a pulled baby tooth. The one on the left is the tooth which has caused issues. So, I begin to have flashes in my head of a moment when I read about surgeries gone wrong. When a doctor was suppose to operate on a patient's left arm and instead he operated on the right. I began to think. What if I sharpie'd "Not this Tooth!" on my right check and on the left wrote "Pull this one!"
The doctor came back with another shot of morphine to the left side of my jaw numbing the tooth which was suppose to be pulled. My nerves were calmed by the thought maybe he was just wanting my entire mouth numb. I'm game!
The surgery began with my eyes covered by cloth and a lite sheet of gauze in my mouth. I was breathing through my nose through the entire procedure. Had my music playing and could hear any instruction if needed. A couple of pulls and the left tooth was pulled. A moment later Doc asked,
"Well now we're going to pull the right one." I closed my mouth and shook my head no.
"Are you sure?" I shook my head up and down, universal for the sign of agreeing.
"Did the last one hurt because we can always make sure you don't feel any pain." I shook my head no. He dismissed himself and operation was closed.
Above this, I'd like to point something out. I don't understand Doctors when they schedule a consultation. He and I will talk things out. What the procedure is, how long it would take, risks, and all options available. The ONLY thing this guy had as a card to play is,
"Well it's a wisdom tooth and if it gets a cavity back there we'll have to pull it. We wont even waste filling it."
Here's my retort. "You might as well pull every tooth than and replace it with a fake for every filled tooth I have (4 to be exact)." The explanation of why the particular wisdom tooth is being used is practically unimaginable to this guy. Let alone the records show it to be true. I posted earlier how ever doctor I visit bring up the two buggers. Excluding the tooth which is now pulled. One would count the teeth and see I have the proper amount of teeth. Pulling said tooth on the right side would fuck up the balance. Which is why the always count, recount, and count again. Just on the off chance I'm wrong. Right, because I know nothing about my own teeth. That makes LOADS of sense. Either way, I caught this doctor red handed from the get go trying to be slick. I mean, it wasn't a matter of being slick but a matter of a Doc who's held a consultation. Knew and settled on what was to be done for said patient and STILL he wanted to go beyond what was agreed. Would it have killed me to have the second wisdom tooth pulled. No, however I feel it goes without saying it would have been against my rights as a patient to do so. We only needed the one tooth pulled for medical and personal reasons. For a tooth which is acting with purpose as a molar to be pulled, I'm sure anyone medical or patient would agree it to be ludicrous.
Either way, I survived the dentist. I've said it before, I'll say it again. I HATE the hospital. It's different working in a hospital (I did work in one for a while) than it is to be on the other side. A feeling of vulnerability and lose of self control is given to these people to operate on you. Knowing the guidelines set before via consultation. Than off from left field they feel like it's a duty to go above and beyond. Hold up Doc, you're not getting a fucking medal pulling two wisdom teeth. By no means at all.

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