Pulled Tooth, Clean Comedy and Six Points.

Day three of my tooth being pulled and the area still fucking hurts. Medication? Oh, yeah that thing... Well, apparently the pharmacy would hand out Ibuprofen and some Vicodin. Sadly the pharmacy only gave me Ibuprofen and said, "peace out." Granted the meds hold back the consistent headache from hell. However, at this point I think I would be back at square one where I would pop a Ibuprofen and fall asleep. I'm not a light weight. It's common fact when the body is under pain and medication relieves said pain. The body doesn't have to work as hard to feel relieved. Thus I feel tired. So, I've been trying to battle this with coffee.

I thought I had died and gone to purgatory. John came down to the living room while I started the last episode of season two to The Walking Dead. Apparently he found a comedian online. For once, I thought he stumbled on some gold because it was a comic from Comedy Central. But alas, like last week when I was barraged with Wholesome Family movies. The comedian did "clean comedy." Thus I deduct 500 points of awesome.

I held my second meeting this month and realized how much better I've gotten at realizing what information I need. Except this time around, instead of going to the goat locker and holding the meeting in a round table. I realized, if I used the training room. I could have everyone seated in desks while I stand at a podium and call upon people whom have amendments. I guess this is usual, but after experiencing the first meeting I didn't have to stuff the pits with toilet paper. I didn't even have butterflies in my stomach. Recently I hadn't much time to worry about anything. My mind has been jumbled with multitasking myself.

The other day I thought it would be cool to self examine myself and find the top six things which have been apparent in my life. Or habits which have either manifested or grown within the past year. Here's what I've noticed, just an hint this list is not in any particular order.
1. I read a lot. Granted, it's not normal material. More like instructions and publications. Then there's the self indulgence of A.E. Poe, and other famous authors.
2.  I've found I'm forgetful of immediate information which doesn't really matter. I guess I've trained myself to forget what I do on a day to day basis. My reason being, there's a lot of information to keep. The brain can only account for so much. Picture if you will your brain is like a news paper and while a news paper is folded. The front page shows an appendage for the main article inside. Picture if you will a world where you don't need to remember gravity holds us down to earth. Why remember the laws of gravity? It's obviously working and has been for some time. Thus, no need to remember gravity. I only take information which pertains to me in all mediums I find fascinating. After all, there's a lot to remember.
3. I'm anti-social. I've come to find the human race to be exhausting and mundane. Sure there are the few whom entertain me. I'll be blunt to say I'm a strange fellow. Against the grain and I suppose most people become 'freaked out' at first. However, I like to think of my life something like Alice in Wonderland. I can spartain kick your ass down the rabbit hole. Conversely I can gently guide you down the tunnel of insanity and have fun along the way. I guess 99.9% of people get the spartain kick which end with a thud to the ground. Look, I'm a bag of crazy only some people can handle. It all matters who you are.
4. Talk to a skull. I wouldn't sugest talking to a real human skull. This would be particularly creepy to most people. However, I find talking to a skull is kinda releaving. I guess I can relate this to how people hang a crusifiction to the wall and pray to Jesus. It feels nice to talk to something which emulates an actual person. A person whom doesn't have a choice but listen and can't talk back. Now thinking about it, there's no poetic reason. It's just creepy and a little horror in life can't be THAT bad.
5. Learn an instrument. Sherlock Holmes played the violin. I play the piano. Most people whom don't play an instrumnet do admire people who can. Learning an instrument also exersized your math skills. Which feels like one is litterally breaking sound down to string theory.
6. Always find time to daydream.  I apply 1 hour of my day to daydreams. It's a moment when I can allow my mind to rest and be calm. I can for a moment chillout and not worry about all the small or big things. I also find daydreaming to be beneficial when there's a though problem I have to accomplish. At work there are moments when I have to play detective and figure things out. Usually daydreaming for a moment allows my mind to open up to possibilities that weren't there before.

Wholesome Monthly Euphemisms and Surgery.

Hello, humanity.

While I have my evening tea I've come to realize something about this last week... While, I've been busting my ass at work pulling double work. I began to notice on a Thursday morning why everyday at work feels like shit. It's because my roommate John has been watching the cheesiest movies you could find on Netflix. While it's true actors like Morgan Freeman are true artists whom will stand the test of time. I can not for the life of me understand "Wholesome Movies."
The fake corny movies where Mom is in the kitchen and Dad is the money maker. There's the problem child, with the heavy metal look, which also implies he or she does drugs. Than there is the littlest child who's got self confidence issues. The point behind these movies is the fact there's always a problem in the family household and someone outside of the family has to fix it. These two hour movie are the biggest bullshit I've ever seen in my life.
I'm not one to tell someone how to do there job. However, I do believe actors are not suppose to let on they are acting. Actors are suppose to be so natural they make the audience believe they are the character. The problem with the movies I've brought to light is the fact the adults will ham up the characters so much they forget it's a movie and just fuck around with the idea of "Fake Reality." We get it's a movie and the senerio is fake. Art immitates life and life immitates art. Thus, without one you do not have the other. For a movie to fuck this logical theory away which has worked for every successful movie.  This is why I don't get Wholesome movies. They're detrimental to actual families.

About two weeks ago I had to hold my first "Monthly Meeting." Where all the department heads and I sat around the table in the Goat Locker. I open up a book and we start off on page one. First off, before I even showed up to the meeting I had a little bit of the flop sweat. You know what I'm talking about. When the forehead starts sweating, the pits get going. Hell, for some of you people out there maybe a little bit of ass sweat starts going. I don't have this particular problem. The pit sweat is probably the one thing I'm always self conscious about. So, picture it. I'm in the restroom. I grab a paper towel, get it wet and wash my face a little bit. Than I grabbed two wads of toilet paper and put them in my arm pit.
Yeah, I just stuffed two wads of toilet paper into my shirt. After feeling satisfied, I walked into the meeting third to last person to show. Yes, let's recap. I was technically late to my own meeting.
After about an hour of going through the book and feeling accomplished with not only the meeting, but also the fact I didn't feel any of the flop sweat. I went back to the restroom to remove the used wads of toilet paper under my shirt in the arm pits. However, something happened... They weren't there. All of a sudden I start to wonder where between the restroom, the Goat Locker and back to the restroom did these two wads of sweat infused toilet paper fall out and land on the floor? I never found them. Yes, I retraced myself to possibly find them. To this moment I still wonder where they disappeared to. No, I don't have a personal connection to those two wads of toilet paper. However, I just really wonder if ANYONE had picked them up from the ground. How did they pick them up? By bare hand, maybe a rubber glove. Hell they might have used a dust pan. I hope they used a dust pan. Needless to say, the meeting went very well and realized two weeks later how much information I didn't get and next time how much information I will need from these department leaders. I'll also have to make a mental note to not misplace anything.

Has anyone ever heard of Euphemisms? You hear them all the time. In fact you may be using them now. I believe the worst of it is from the media. I wondered where does the media get it from. Then I found out the "groups" and "political parties" utilize these words to control you. I stack euphemisms next to words like: 'should,' 'would,' 'could,' have to,' 'ought to,' and 'need to.'
I found out four years ago, the words 'should, would, could, have to, ought to, and need to' are controlling words. Why? Because there is no reason I should have done, would have done, or could have done anything different from what I had done. Same as how I no longer have to be weighed down by people telling me I have to do this, ought to do that, or NEED to do anything.... Euphemisms are words which people in the government have recognized will keep people feeling good. It's always a plus to feel good in life. Well, here's some Euphemisms which I've ran across this last week which has pissed me off.
1. Adult Entertainment. By this you mean a multitude of things. I'll list two, however talk about one... Porno and watching strippers at a Club. How in the hell is watching a porno 'Adult Entertainment.' When I was fifteen I was watching Cinemax at Night. I wasn't an adult, nor were there any adults present when viewing this movie. Let alone these little fuckers whom haven't even reached puberty can go online and watch the really boring ones online. Either way.... A porno is a porno. Not a 'Dirty movie,' or 'Adult Entertainment.' Have you ever noticed a porno is when two people you don't know are fucking, but when you're fucking is called a sex tape? Aren't they all the same? I'd like to know who decided to define the difference and why it's a common euphemism?
2. Eternal Rest. A soft, wimpy word for dead. When one is dead, you are just a shell buried six feet under. Maybe you're a pile of dust in a box. There is no eternity, or rest behind this. At one point there will be no remains of oneself. Thus the Eternal part is irrelevant. The rest, however... is not really rest. I've had four hours of sleep and felt well rested. I can't understand, even wrap my brain around how death is restful. There isn't much to be had. At one point I'd like to know who died and woke up feeling rested. In any case one doesn't do much when dead. There's just a lot of live people doing work for you. Thus, "Eternal Rest" contradicts itself and should not be used.
3. Between Jobs. Have you ever ran into people whom say, "I'm between jobs." What it really means is these lazy fucks are UNEMPLOYED and are content with not doing anything. Not until a couple of months later when they do get a job and then when said persons gets a job. They're EMPLOYED all of a sudden. The point here, to say 'between jobs' makes the unemployed feel 'better' about life. Because this is the main point to Euphemisms. To make one feel better. Weather it's about sex, death or employment.
* I can go on these things for hours. Thinking, constantly thinking of more Euphemisms. I'll touch base with more in the future.

The dental appointment was just yesterday. I showed up exactly at 7:00. A full thirty minutes before operation. Being early I only had to sit in the lounge for five minutes before the nurse called for me. I followed her to the operation room and began getting comfortable. I took off my coat, hung my hat and began listening to Mike Oldfield's "Songs of Distant Earth" album. I don't know why, but the album always putts me in a chill-out mood. So, I'm hanging out and bull shitting and watching the corpsman do his thing. Now, Doc comes in and puts together a seringe of morphine. Than walks slowly to me. Horror style. For a moment, I almost freaked out and reality was near to Jacob's Ladder style. However, I opened my mouth and he began to numb my mouth... The wrong side of my mouth. Yes, I have two wisdom teeth. However, because of my Orthodontist back when I was a teen. My wisdom tooth on the right side serves a function as a molar do too a pulled baby tooth. The one on the left is the tooth which has caused issues. So, I begin to have flashes in my head of a moment when I read about surgeries gone wrong. When a doctor was suppose to operate on a patient's left arm and instead he operated on the right. I began to think. What if I sharpie'd "Not this Tooth!" on my right check and on the left wrote "Pull this one!"
The doctor came back with another shot of morphine to the left side of my jaw numbing the tooth which was suppose to be pulled. My nerves were calmed by the thought maybe he was just wanting my entire mouth numb. I'm game!
The surgery began with my eyes covered by cloth and a lite sheet of gauze in my mouth. I was breathing through my nose through the entire procedure. Had my music playing and could hear any instruction if needed. A couple of pulls and the left tooth was pulled. A moment later Doc asked,
"Well now we're going to pull the right one." I closed my mouth and shook my head no.
"Are you sure?" I shook my head up and down, universal for the sign of agreeing.
"Did the last one hurt because we can always make sure you don't feel any pain." I shook my head no. He dismissed himself and operation was closed.
Above this, I'd like to point something out. I don't understand Doctors when they schedule a consultation. He and I will talk things out. What the procedure is, how long it would take, risks, and all options available. The ONLY thing this guy had as a card to play is,
"Well it's a wisdom tooth and if it gets a cavity back there we'll have to pull it. We wont even waste filling it."
Here's my retort. "You might as well pull every tooth than and replace it with a fake for every filled tooth I have (4 to be exact)." The explanation of why the particular wisdom tooth is being used is practically unimaginable to this guy. Let alone the records show it to be true. I posted earlier how ever doctor I visit bring up the two buggers. Excluding the tooth which is now pulled. One would count the teeth and see I have the proper amount of teeth. Pulling said tooth on the right side would fuck up the balance. Which is why the always count, recount, and count again. Just on the off chance I'm wrong. Right, because I know nothing about my own teeth. That makes LOADS of sense. Either way, I caught this doctor red handed from the get go trying to be slick. I mean, it wasn't a matter of being slick but a matter of a Doc who's held a consultation. Knew and settled on what was to be done for said patient and STILL he wanted to go beyond what was agreed. Would it have killed me to have the second wisdom tooth pulled. No, however I feel it goes without saying it would have been against my rights as a patient to do so. We only needed the one tooth pulled for medical and personal reasons. For a tooth which is acting with purpose as a molar to be pulled, I'm sure anyone medical or patient would agree it to be ludicrous.
Either way, I survived the dentist. I've said it before, I'll say it again. I HATE the hospital. It's different working in a hospital (I did work in one for a while) than it is to be on the other side. A feeling of vulnerability and lose of self control is given to these people to operate on you. Knowing the guidelines set before via consultation. Than off from left field they feel like it's a duty to go above and beyond. Hold up Doc, you're not getting a fucking medal pulling two wisdom teeth. By no means at all.

The Dentist

During Thanksgiving I gave my pet toad Bill a bunch of Crickets and Meal-worms. I thought it would have been nice to fatten him up a little. I left for dinner at a friends house and coming back home all the toad food was gone. My toad is a fat ass! Granted I ate 3 servings of Thanksgiving food. However, this little guy not even the size of my thumb ate 4 Crickets and 4 Meal-worms! What a fat ass.

The other week I had gotten a phone call from a dental nurse needing my time away from work to talk about a wisdom tooth which has been giving me some trouble lately. Well, I drove to the hospital and after a five minute wait in the lobby. I was called in to the examination room.
Quick question, does anyone ever get self conscious about dentist? No joke, I tripped a little because it's like every time I go they find SOMETHING wrong with me. For example, a wisdom tooth. Anyway, I felt self conscious because I had three cups of coffee, an Italian sub and sun chips. I don't know why, for a moment I thought the guy was able to see trace amounts of whatever was stuck between my teeth. Let alone, I'm sure this guy could tell I have a sweet tooth for double-double coffees. Ya'know? I'm sure nine month old pregnant women knows what this is like. You try to shave your ankles however the baby bump just gets in the way. Then when you go to the doctors you're really hoping they notice you shaved the majority of your legs... Except the trace amount around the ankles.
Well, this next Wednesday I have the surgery to get one of my two wisdom teeth pulled. Why only one you may ask. Apparently the other is being used as a molar. The dentist back when I had braces pulled like three teeth. Which allowed him to utilize the wisdom tooth. Pretty cool shit. Either way, the doctors at the hospital don't get it. Every time I tell them, they bust out the x-ray and start counting teeth. Starting from the right and counting to the hanging wisdom tooth. At which point the doc will stop, recount three more times, then come back to me and say,
"Well I guess you're right."
No. Really!? I think I would know more about my mouth than the next person. Stupid mother fuckers. Which is why I detest going to the hospital/dentist. I don't get piss off at the doc. I mean, I don't expect him to know everything. Just the irritation of having to explain my situation to every new doctor who opens my file gets annoying.

The day after Thanksgiving on the west coast is usually a chill kind of day. People are still getting over the Turkey High they just ingested. The tempo of life is usually about 120 beats per minute (BPM). The day following Thanksgiving, it's a drastic drop of 80 BPM. I just stopped to realize something. Wouldn't it be great if the weather man could not only tell you what today, tomorrow and the next days weather is. He could also tell you at what speed your life should be going at. Example:
"Today is a slight chance or ran. In the morning be cautious of that morning fog. Around the afternoon the sun should show up a little bit. Finally the storm system from the south will come in; the rest of the week will be rain and overcast. For the most part people, start off your day at 100 BPM. Maybe bring it up to 120 BPM. Then finally slow down for the rest of the week and stay at around 75 BPM." Wouldn't it be nice for someone to be paid to tell you how the tempo of life could/should go!?
John and I went to Target because my usual "Day after Thanksgiving" tradition is to take all the left overs from Thanksgiving and make it into a Chicken Pot Pie. It was great till I found out they ran out pie shells! We went further down the street to a store called Kroger's. Walked in and I tried to find pie shells but I guess they still hadn't recouped from the early morning Black Friday shenanigans. I was walking up and down the isle trying to find the pie shells. Then I ran into an associate woman. I asked her if she could help me. Instead she gave me a good cooking tip. Apparently I can use Pillsbury Grand Biscuits as a topping shell for pies. I thanked her, and while talking to her she asked me what I was up to. I told her between three guys, I'm the only one who knows how to cook. She starts to laugh, I explained I cook dinner. While John makes breakfast and Diddly is just Diddly. The lady starts to laugh. I continued saying, "Look, I'm ever mother in-laws dream son. I cook, clean and have a career." The lady is still laughing and said, "I have a daughter named Ashley. She needs a man like you." I was kinda shocked this lady was pimping out her daughter. But I'm not one to just boast and not show face. I straight up gave the woman my phone number and told her to call me. Balls in her court now... Granted it's been a day now and no phone call. One could have only hoped. However, the Chicken Pot Pie turned out well. Two pies later and everything turned out. Not getting hooked up with a chick who sounds hot. None the less, an all around good day.

Things which piss me off.

Hi! Well surprise, I survived Key West. I had a lot of fun. Today, I would like to tell you I don't have pet peeves. I have pure adulterated hatred for things which piss me off. Pet peeves are for the weak at heart. People with pet peeves are people who allow things to piss them off. They don't say anything about it when it happens to them. Always in secrecy these people bitch about these trespasses. I'd like to let you all in a little secret. It's okay to be pissed off about things. BE PISSED OFF! Here's a couple of things which piss me off.

1. People who have too many names. I can understand the standard first, middle, last. Maybe a nickname... But after a first, middle, last, 2nd last name, nickname, stage name, alter ego.... Okay, I get it. Maybe you didn't take your husbands last name. Fuck it, I'm not tacking and saying both names. Especially those poor kids which have both mom and dad's last name together.

2. Grown men who walk around with a cowboy hat and boots in the 21'st century. It's not Halloween. If you can wear a Cowboy garb 'comfortably' in public. Than I can wear my Zombie costume and not be judged. I also can't stand people who dress like "Surfers." Same concept as the Cowboy, except these fake fucks have probably never seen an Ocean, or have ever owned a surf board.

3. I cant understand parents who have children the age of 8-17 with fucking cell phones. I could never understand kids in this age who are allowed to have cell phones which do more than text and call. Let's pedal back a little bit, back when I was a kid I would ask my parent(s) to go play with friends. I would be told by my parent to call on the hour or stop by the house and check in. Which I did. If I didn't, I would be brought back home (because mommy and daddy knew where I was) and I would be grounded. Life as a child would be fucked up with extra chores for a couple of days. But a lesson would be learned. Okay, we got this out of the way. But what is a 8-17 year old child doing with a fucking phone which can: take photos, surf the internet, views videos, photos, calendars, takes notes, or sets reminders (usually for the forgetful), GPS, plays games, shows stocks, forecasts the weather, or allows you to buy tickets for travel and finally gives you email access. Calculators, Compasses, and Voice memos.... What the fuck is an 8 year old (and above) going to do with all this shit!? No, no sorry... Your child can walk across the fucking street at this age check in with the ADULT and or make a phone call. It's not rocket science and your pocket wouldn't be having a fucking hole in it at the end of the month. Take a moment parents of 2012, and cast yourself back to when you were a kid. Reflect for a moment, then come back to reality for a second and somehow make a comment below how I'm wrong.

4. I get probably more pissed off at people who would be hilarious on a stage being a comic but feel like they have to a comic 24/7. Let me explain... Not everyone has to be hilarious all the time. I think the worst of it is when a person acts funny, and also an asshole at the same time.  (check it out... I used 4 words with the letter A in succession) Here's the example, a guy is at the party and he's telling a story about how no one at his job knew who he was for the longest time. A couple of people are laughing. He's laughing at his own story. Which also pisses me off to no end... People laughing at there own expense of a stupid story. I stepped in and asked, "So let me get this straight, you weren't doing anything for anyone in six months. Then come to find out no one knew of your existence?" The "funny guy" agrees with me. Just to make sure I got the story in full. Then he said, "To add, the shop I work for don't even want me." To which I replied with, "Gee, I wonder why." Look, I'm not out for the guy. I'm sure he's hilarious (hence the irony). But the funny guy can't get offended because he doesn't get a laugh out of someone who can see through the bullshit. Granted my humor is dark, ironic, and mildly sadistic, with a hint of gossip. Neither of which I feel funny guy hit throughout the whole night. Like, I get it if you are a comedian and you can entertain a crowed. However, it really annoys me when a comedian is 'on' all the time.

5. I'm also pissed off for the fact Football, Golf, Baseball, basically all sports men with a contract allowing them to be paid with benefits more so than our Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, and Airmen. Not excluding our Police, Firemen and EMS. We're talking about the undeclared war of Entertainment v. National Security. I get the fact these sportsmen are involved with "contact" sports. However, to have the balls to be paid more than a man who's sacrificed his life for a nation. Than turn around and ask for more benefits.

Well, these are a few things which piss me off. I'm open to discussion on any of these points. Comment your thoughts below.

Key West will get you in the end.

Last Wednesday I traveled to Key West on Company travel. My first day was terrible. Traveled 2 hours on flight, got to the office space provided for my stay. Our group unpacked and worked till 11:30pm to get to the hotel at 12:30am the latest. I then turned around and awoke at 3:45am for work the next morning. So, initially being in Key West sucked balls.

Okay, the thing I would like to say about Key West is; Duval St. has two sides. From the corner clock to the left is where all the bars are. To the right, is Gay, gay, and gay-er.... Up till the point you get to the Denny's.

Well, first thing was first. I went walking around finding cool stuff for Christmas. Diddly and I walked around for the most part and then went to see an escape artists escape from a straightjacket, 5 chains and 3 hand cuffs. Which not only was entertaining, but amazing to see. The bars are not as impressive, however, there is a little bit of history. I think the best place to start is when I went to Ernest Hemingway's home.
Apparently the guy's home is on the second tallest elevation of all Key West. 16 feet above sea water. These are the facts I'm working with. LOL! The guy owns 48 cats at his home. Have you ever heard of a little show on TV called Animal Hoarders? For a home that has 48 cats, it was very well kept. But here's how his home was set up. There was a hallway in the middle with a staircase on the right, to the left was a living room. Across the way was the dinning room with a simple fireplace. Behind was the kitchen. Up stairs was the master bedroom, bathroom and study. Guess what this guy has, two wrap around porches. One on the main floor and one on the second floor. However, like most artists I was really impressed by the studio Ernest used to write his books. But like a bad nightmare it hit me, the question we've been asking. "How the hell do they pay for the pet bills!?" Question mother fucking answered. At the end of the whole tour the guy told us about the book store. My personal favorite book being "The Old Man And The Sea." I went into the shop and looked at the "collectors items." The book I love being one of them was being sold for $80!!! Let's back up and repeat that shit, "The Old Man And The Sea" is being sold for 80 fucking dollars! Talk about highway fucking robbery. I got the idea being in the tour that Ernest was a funny guy. I didn't think he was going to be making a running pass joke on my wallet. So for fear of my wallet, I turned around and walked straight off the premises. All in all, Hemingway was a mild fail. Beautiful house. However, a fail.

Later on in the night I went to a couple of bars. The first being "Fat Tuesdays" which is a walk in open window bar. I literally walked in, and again like I did in Hemingway's home I walked right back out. Then I went to "The Bull" which has three floors to it. The first two are typical pub atmospheres. However, what happens on top is a basic nude bar. Body painted women dancing, serving liquor to a huge sausage fest. Old guys, young men, every tourist with a dick went to the third floor. While I'm hanging out with Rose along the strip of Duval St. I ran into an amazing gypsy artists by the name of Kenyatta Arrington. He is a rocker whom played with Jimmy Hendricks back in the day. Really cool gem to find in a small island. I got a demo of his work as well as a fair trade of giving him some of my own personal music too.

 The second night was hanging out with Jaz at the corner pub outside of base. Here I met up with Mc, Cronix, and Diddly. The guys and I decided after 3 drinks we should take a walk to the strip club. So we ditched Jaz at the pub, later she would go to the local gay club "Aqua."
Here's what happened with the "Gentleman's Club." The guys and I picked our seating and instantly this chick named Emma comes walking up. She looked all of 20 years old. I don't play with new girls. So, I passed her off to Diddly whom literally had that chicks attention all night. Meanwhile, Mc bought me my first dance with this 40 year old woman who Jew'd me out of dance. Here's how this operation goes down, $20 is suppose to buy me one private dance for the duration of one song. This hoe gave me half a dance. But to be honest, I guess I learned a little something. I like cougars when they're interested in giving me attention. However, 40 year old tits in my face isn't my jive. Come on ladies be a little classy. Well, after getting Jew'd out of my first dance. Cronix and I met the girl who would literally entertain the rest of our night.
I don't remember her name, nor care, but I'll call her Amber. The only thing I can remember about Amber is she spoke bad Polish. Had CHINESE tattoos on her spine and was a fake blond. Well, I'm laying down the German while Cronix is speaking Spanish. So, really it was a competition of which language she liked, I guess.... At one point I asked her if she liked German Chocolate or Spanish Candy. She answered me with a free dance. Either way, I had like four solos with the girl. The next day after work I would run into Amber at "Sloppy Joes." I didn't expect to see her, but I never had a situation where I would meet a dancer from the other night. So, I said, "What's up!?" I bought her a drink and then went on my way. Diddly would run into Emma outside of the Gentleman's Club too.
So, get this... Ernest had helped the owner of the "Sloppy Joes" pub move down the block because the rent on the original establishment was too high. So, they moved it down a block and Ernest took a urinal troth back to his home and has since then used it to hold water for his 48 fucking cats.

I'm going to lay it out there for everyone... Key West is cool but only for about three to four days. After that, it's not the best place in the world. It's a huge tourist trap. At one point I didn't even want to be on the island. In fact, Virginia Beach (as boring as it is) is fucking better than Key West.

Five things I suck at.

Hi everyone! How's it going? So, the other day I realized (after family dinner) there are some people whom straight up SUCK at things.
Point and case, Diddly sucks at cooking dinner. Which is why I cook.
My pet toad Bill sucks at eating crickets... Get this, it's 11 in the evening and for two hours we'll hear a cricket chirping. After finding the cricket who's making all the loud nose and throwing it into Bill tank. It takes two hours till Bill finally finds the fucker and eats it. That's four hours of cricket chirping!!

So, I'm not going to go into other people and what they suck at. Instead I'm going to list five things I suck at.

1. Football. The last time I played football. I got confused about which team I was on. We didn't have jerseys. The other team wasn't shirtless. We just all played the game. Anyway, this one time... The team I was playing with told me to run, catch the ball and book it to the in-zone.
I caught the ball, I ran pass a lot of people.... Made it to the in-zone. Then realized I ran the wrong direction.

2. Shaving my face. There's this thing where I'll go a couple of days without shaving. Then on Sunday I'll shave my face. I have to shave down (with grain) to get a majority of facial hair. Then I go against. Which produces a clean shave. However, right by my chin, there's like this one spot I can get a majority of the hair. But I can still feel the stubble! STUBBLE!

3. Remembering shit from the other day. Honestly, I can't remember anything that happened yesterday. Seriously, if it wasn't worth remembering. Don't ask what happened. I'd like to blame my job for this though, because I work on jets. What colour are jets? They're grey!!! We're talking about seven plus jets which are grey and have basically the same mechanical issues. How in the world am I suppose to remember one from the other? Either way.... If it wasn't important, don't ask me to recall. If it's a conversation, I'll error on the side you remember the conversation. I just legitamently don't remember. Repetitive shit, I can remember.

4. Folding laundry. No joke, I start with good intentions and then follow it up piles of cloths from the the week prior on the floor again. Normaly people hang there cloths and or, fold them and put them into the dresser. For me, about two days later I finally get fed up of the bull shit and finally fold my cloths. Otherwise, they'll be on the floor at the foot of my bed.

5. Beer Pong! It's self explanatory. I'm not one of those dudes who get better when I'm drunk. I'm the worst at aiming a ping pong ball into seven cup, in a triagle formation. Islands are the worst for me. Even after I reform the cups. I can get like one ping pong ball into a cup for ever two my opponant can put into my cups. And the option of doing trick shots just furthers the point I suck at life. I can't throw a ping pong behind my back and hope it lands in a cup. Especially when I have a hard enough time getting on it the normal way. - Side note, I can't play battle shots to save my life either. Guessing and strategy goes hand in hand with Beer Pong too.... Which is why I suck at Beer Pong.

Please comment below and tell me what you suck at. Maybe we have a few things in common.

Dinner at Home.

When I was a young coming of age man, living in my father's home we would always have family dinner. It would consist of dinner in the dining room. Dad would sit opposite of me at the head of the table. Zoe would sit to his left and her son would sit next to her in his high chair.

Eventually, with moving around the U.S. we would all sit in the living room and have amazing dinners. Watch some television and tuck in for the night. However, these family dinners were more frequent than before in my father's home.

Family dinners now consist of my two roommates and I. John (he's the oldest), he's really good at making pancakes for breakfast. I'm usually the guy who'll make the dinners. I don't mind. It allows me to make meals. Usually some kind of meat, be it beef, chicken or pork. Pork isn't my strong suit. I do try though.
Two of my best meals I've conjured since living with the guys has been Rachel Ray's 30min. meal called a Cheese Burger Casserole. The other would happen to be a pot roast. Then again, who can't pull off cooking a slow cooker. :/ Either way, usual side are a vegetable and or rice. Sometimes both. Either way, the only thing I have to work around is the amount of spice and seasoning used. Diddly doesn't like 'spicy' food.

These days for dinner, the guys and I will eat dinner in the living room and sometimes in the kitchen. The three of us will sit and either watch a movie on NetFlix. Or we'll talk about the politics of work, aspects of life and many other things. The usual bullshit guys talk about.

Why I do this...

I think introductions are best left for a travel of who I am through what this "blog" will accumulate over time. I figure people will grow there comments about me, what I talk about, and my point of view. Though, my goal here is to just talk about things I feel are relevant. In as few words as possible, here's what Savage&Smooth is all about (to me).

As an Equalits, Musician and Composer, Moderate Liberal, and Atheist. I'm a recluse to those who don't know me, but I do enjoy having fun in public. I don't watch the television as much, sure I read the news papers. I just chose to not sit endless amounts of time on the couch watching TV when I can do that with a more creative time. i.e. blogging.
I've only recently joined the military about a year and a half ago. It's a savage world of dog-eat-dog. It's a political game of making friends and knowing who to stay away from. There are also those whom seek to step over and bend guide line rules to throw potentially good people under the buss. This is a sick nature I've seen first hand. It's a sad world and "national enterprise" I've joined. But I keep my head held high on the fact I'm doing this job for myself. Not for the other person. It's ultimately my job to make sure my life is as smooth as possible.

Currently I'm a single dude, in a Virginia Beach town home with two other bachelors. My room mates are hilarious and keep me in stitches all the time. It's never a 'dull' moment at home. I hope to capture those moments here in this blog. For pets, I can't really have a cat (I love cats). Dogs are expensive and too attention oriented. So, I settled with a pet toad. His name is Bill.
Bill is a Fire Belly Toad whom lives in a 5 gallon tank. He's constantly fed 3 crickets a day. And is a very special little guy. I guess he was born, or developed from tad pole with a missing hand. Which is pretty cool. He's an odd little guy whom seems calm, cool and collective. Which in turn makes me feel the same way too.

Well, here's just a little taste of what's to come. I don't bullshit as much as I did before. I don't like narrow-mindedness on the account I'm an Equalits. So, I hope you read these post with an open mind and with acceptance.
I hope you all enjoy.