It's shame based.

This is purely shame based. I have a pack of double stuffed Oreo's and a half gallon of milk on my bed in Fallon, Nevada. I could be out drinking and bowling. I could be asleep right now. But how can I beat four and a half hours of talking to my girlfriend AND watching the anime!?

I've come to realize I work better with less people around me. I also work better when problem solving involves other people doing work I wish I could. But seeing as how home base is in Virginia, and I'm currently in Nevada. It's difficult to really operate. Needless to say, it's also really difficult when I wish I could have the ability to do things by myself as well... Instead of relying on others. It's kind of a pet-peeve of mine to fully rely on others. I wont be surprised if I get a kick in the ass either way.

This is also shame based because my girlfriend told me I apparently have been watching some chick shows on T.V. I beg to differ. I think I've been watching shows which are freaky, funny and just down right stupid.
First show is titled "Catfish." What is a "Catfish" you may ask? Well, it's an underwater bottom feeder fish which is usually Noodled in quarries and lakes of Oklahoma. On the other hand, it's a person on the internet whom will use public photos of other people, create an account and make up a pseudonym. This is bad, I don't agree with it. The worst part is when they ensnare innocent bi standards into thinking they really are the person they say they are. Like the episode when this girl fell in love with a guy she had talked to for four years and turns out it's some chick a couple miles away from her. The profile started off as a sick joke and then developed into a bigger thing. the best part is when the girl "claimed" to be straight the whole time. I call Bull Shit.
The best episode was when we all got to meet KJ and Ebony. Oh, it was hilarious. Because sometimes we start off meeting KJ who is a "Catfish" who's wondering if the person on the other side is a "Catfish" too. So, KJ uses a different name/photo when talking to Ebony. Turns out the chick he's been talking to named Ebony is a transgender. So he was coming to terms with this. By the time we meet Ebony, turns out she's actually a Lesbian, and has a teenage daughter. You can't write this shit! He's shocked, but the best part is how Ebony is acting the victim. She was expecting some skinny guy and when he mentioned the name wasn't KJ. Oh, Ebony went crazy! In any case, you best to believe this episode was kinda sad. But hilarious because it was twist after twist after twist. For unscripted television this is amazing stuff.

The other show I've made into a drinking game is called "Friend Zone." It's a show about best friends and one of them has feelings for the other friend. So, they arrange a date and the best friend doesn't know this whole time it's a date for them.  The ending part is where both friends are at the date spot, they say goodbye to each other. Then as soon as the best friend walks away to go to the car or someplace the other friend says, "Wait!? Come back! This date, it's for you... I love you and I've had feelings for you for a long time... Blah, blah, blah..." This show ends with either both friends really falling in love or let down either easily/hard. I think the best one was when the dude did all this work and all she could say was, "This is so weird...... So weird... Soooooooo wierd...." The whole way back to her car so she could just jump in and drive off.
The drinking game comes in at this point because the idea is, to take a drink of beer/shot of drink at any time either of the people on the show say the word "LIKE." You also must take a shot if it's a Gay Episode where there is as follows:

1. The Gay Gasp
2. Anyone saying the word, "Heeeeeeeeeey!" or other stereo typical gay phrases.
3. Any Gay one liners. i.e. "Too Gay to Function."

To explain what you're up against. Here's how the dialog follows:

Person One - "I just don't want things to be weird yaknow? Like, I couldn't see this just being a friendship thing." (Take a shot)
Person Two - "Well if he likes you, then he likes you. There's no way to know until you like... Just ask..." (Take Three shots mother fucker)
As you can see "Friend Zone" can become a deadly game and I'm all for it.



Finally, I'd like to point something out...

DISCLAIMER!
    This is MY work of auto-biographical fiction. Names (except for yours), characters (including you), places and incidents either are products of MY imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events (like this one) or locales and persons, living or six feet under, is entirely coincidental. AKA, don't sue me… I have nothing.

It's Just an Exampe

So it's Super Bowl back in 2005 (I think) and Zoe spent the better part of the day cooking in the kitchen making vast amounts of finger foods for Dad and I to eat. Super Bowl in the family house hold was like an undeclared holiday where we all sat on the couch for hours on end watching the big game. Me personally I didn't give two shits about which team was playing. I wanted food and to see how the half time show went. Of course, who couldn't watch the Super Bowl for commercials either.
Well, we're all sitting on the couch and for the better part of the first half, Zoe and I were getting really involved with the game. Then all of a sudden the line of scrimmage breaks and the ball barely makes it past the first completion for the team. She jumps out of the couch and yells at the TV,
"What!? Can't you see the yellow line!!!"
This is the moment, when Dad and I stopped half way through eating our finger food snacks and looked at her with the most serious face we could muster. For me, this was once again a perfect opportunity to mentally jot down and save in my head for future reference for retarded ass shit which falls out of her mouth at the most opportune moments.
So, she sits down and I looked at her. I didn't know where to begin because obviously, the yellow line.... The YELLOW line. For a football game has always and forever will be a digitally placed marker for viewers at home to understand where the ball is suppose to go. Conversely there's a blue line showing where the ball starts. And ever so conveniently an arrow with the team logo and a slide shot to tell you (the viewer) what inning we're observing. All of this is digital and to this day, I still get a kick from my sister. I'll watch a game once in a great while and this moment will pop in my head and I'll always think, "CAN'T YOU SEE THE YELLOW LINE!"

Another moment when Zoe has a nack for speaking and shit happens is when we once lived in Moore, Oklahoma. It was a dark and stormy day, I was use to this kind of weather on the West Coast and thought nothing of it till an old lady stepped out of her house and yelled at me of a possible tornado in the city. I booked it home. In the front room Dad had everything prepped for immediate danger. My sister at the time was literally one day out of the hospital from having her baby. So she's all kinds of drugged up. Picture the electricity out for a good portion of this time and the only thing working was the emergency radio on battery power. This small device unknowing kicks start the beginning of what would be an eventful night.
(Static) Tornado has touched down in Tuttle, Oklahoma. (Static)
My Dad repeats the message back to Zoe. And the brilliance here is the fact tornado's move in a North-Eastern movement. They don't have a "wild" path about it. I mean on small scale they move which ever way they want. But on the big picture they move North-Eastern. Usually along with this thing called a JET STREAM. Tuttle is a known fact South West from Moore. Direct line of attack from our town.
Well, Zoe is delirious and she says without a beat,
"Tuttle, who cares about Tuttle!" BOOM!
A tree from the next door neighbors yard falls and wind quickly stirs and all I heard was Dad saying "Get in the shelter." Hold up, our shelter was a small ass closet with board games over our heads. We would have to strap on bike helmets and brace for impact for anything this tornado was going to bring our way. Dad, took a mattress and made a man cave with the bathroom tub. And this was survival 101 in the good old Oklahoma planes at the ripe age of 15.
Anyway, the damage was done and our house was saved once again. However, NEVER EVER again will my sister speak of 'Who cares about Tuttle.' Apparently someone did, otherwise a tree wouldn't have fallen on Dad's truck and dead bunny's wouldn't be in the back yard.

These are two of many, many stories I have on Zoe which I find amazingly funny because of the amounts of irony involved. They show her character as a person and she'll be the first to admit they happened and probably ten to one laugh about them too.
I'd like to go out on a limb for people who don't get it.... I obviously wouldn't make fun of people I didn't care about. It's a lesson I learned back in College during improv class. You Never make fun of people you don't like. Obviously you only make fun of people you love. Apparently it's a theory which I and the majority get but some don't. Which is sad because they're so many things to talk about. I'll be blunt, I can talk about the good and the bad. Obviously the first story was a good one. The second one can seem a little dark because no one would want to be involved with a tornado. Either way, there's no holds bard on what I blog about. I keep it real and fictitious at best. I wouldn't want to name drop someone without permission. And I'm always good for creatively making up a pseudonym. So for all you people out there who don't get it. I love my family and I'm the only one who can make fun of these guys for the moments I find funny! Fictitious or otherwise.... So without further adieu:

DISCLAIMER!

This is MY work of autobiographical fiction. Names (except for yours), characters (including you), places and incidents either are products of MY imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events (like this one) or locales and persons, living or six feet under, is entirely coincidental. AKA, don't sue me… I have nothing.

Take this into account.

While I'm in Fallon, Nevada on yet again another business trip I realized I could dedicate a post to Life Lessons. I feel these points here can really apply to anyone who wants to put their best foot forward on goals you wish to make.
I guess this could be considered in the blog-sphere as my blogs "NEW YEAR RESOLUTION POST." However, I don't stoop so low to New Year Resolutions. I simply don't believe in them. I remember when the dawn of a new century came. I thought it would be so cool to begin doing New Year Resolutions.
The obvious problem was the fact I was 12 years old and had no idea what to do.. My Evil Egg Donor would always say she wanted to lose weight. I'm sure a lot of people can relate with her to the extent of starting with good intentions. Then sourly gaining 30 Lbs. by the time next year rolls around. Granted she would never work out. However, the first month of food for the year would consist of "Healthy Foods." Mine on the other hand were kinda simple. Examples being:
Get Straight A's at least ONCE!
Perform in at least ONE play.
It was never something too serious. Except for the moment when I was 18 and realized a lot of my "resolutions" were fucking retarded. I pretty much knew I was never going to get Straight A's. Instead I would just try to get as many B's as possible. As for working in plays, I realized in High School there's not much competition if you take your "talents" outside of the school. I was always nailing some production by the time High School was over with; through the course of making these goals and living life. I realized there wasn't much need for Resolutions. Just long term goals and aspirations work better for me. I think resolutions at this point in life sitting at 25 years old. I think it's pointless to make resolutions. I've come to know myself well enough to know resolutions don't work for me. Hell, I'm not saying they work for everyone.. I'm just a glitch in the MATRIX. Without much further adieu here are some life lessons I've held to my life and seemed to work for anything I set my mind too. I think if you've been on board with me about New Year Resolutions so far, you'll appreciate these Lessons.

Find your passions in life. I found my passion in life at the right moment and time. This will bounce back in other life lessons. However, I found my passion in life is in writing, producing music. I started off practicing and experimenting at a young age. Then it wasn't till I was in High School when I joined my first band Yama. Then at one point I decided to just do my own thing and learn to compose for all the instruments of the world. Thus began my passion of composing music. It's been a fun, exciting, frustrating, and beneficial passion. There are a lot of aspects to it which are fascinating to be a part of as well. In essence, having a passion makes your life more exciting and filled with doing something other than sitting around the house.

Life is no fun without risk. I personally like to make physical and financial risks every so often. Example being my job sometimes is considered one of the top ten most dangerous jobs. I've also poured excessive amounts of money into my passion by buying pianos, flutes, violins, paper, and of course buying copyrights. Get this; you have to pay iTunes in order to sell your music. They apparently don't just let you upload and then take out 10% because of their services. One song alone is an $8.00 drop. A full length album on the other hand is like $43.00. Do I expect to make this money back? Not in an instant. However, I do believe time will show progress. So, take risks which you are comfortable with. Like the one time I jumped out of a plane and sky dived. Best day ever!!!

A mistake is an opportunity to learn. This is my cop-out for fucking up at anytime. It goes hand in hand with "no question is a stupid question." This is fucking ridiculous. I had a professor tell the class 'no question is a stupid question.' I raised my hand and asked, "If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?"
Granted, to this day we still don't know if Gilligan escapes the island. However, it's safe to assume it maybe the same island found in LOST.

Don't lie to children. I think for the most part I've been straight forward with my Nephews and Niece. Okay, maybe not the Niece. Only she's so innocent. She's not litteral like the youngest Nephew. Nor is she mature enough as the oldest Nephew to understand things. However, if it's one thing I wish I had back when I was a kid was someone who would tell me the hard core things in life. Then I could just live vicariously through those experiences and try to not fuck up the way they did. Which is why I don't lie to children about the stupid shit. Like when the Evil Egg Donor kicked me out of her house when I told her she shouldn't be with her (then) boyfriend. Which ended with a pre-packed ADIDAS bag and nowhere to go except for Aunt Kelly's house.

Always have an Alter Ego scape goat. I have an Alter Ego named Christopher. He's me, but not me. My mother kicked me out when I was 13 and ever since I made it a point to be able to be noticed and still have my privacy. So, when you're looking up Sean Graves. You maybe looking up a football player from Collumbine who got shot. Alternatively you may also stumble upon a dude who's an American Composer for a band called PostOmnis. Who also has an alter ego named Christopher.

Never look back on bad business partnerships. I recently looked up an old business partner whom worked with me on a demo session of PostOmnis. It was a moment between Insomniac People and Equilibrium when I was composing music which was kind of in the same vain of the fourth album. The album was titled "Love, Life and Silence." It was a more agressive Ambient album nailed in by foot notes of yelling, screaming and chanting vocals by two dudes (myself and the other composer) whom then split ways after a tiny mishap in a recording session. He was working on his solo project which he wanted to mimic a whip cracking sound. Great, all for different styles and if a whip sound was what he needed I was bound and determined to find a sample. However this mother fucker thought it would have been cool if someone whipped his back while the mic was on.
...
...
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As soon as I realized he wanted me to do this I got up and walked out. I've never looked back since then and don't care to. I'm sure his solo career is Zooming compared to mine. I guess it is what it is. Some people would tell you to let go of the past. What they don't tell you is to learn from it. In this example, I learned to back the hell away from a business partnership when crazy jumps out of the bag.

Always give 110% otherwise everything you do in life is worthless. I put 110% into my job and into my side career as an American Composer. I think it's also important to be self sacrificing to your friends. If you're going to do it. Do it 110% because people will notice and be genuine about it. I would list examples, however it wouldn't be propper and koothful.

It's okay to have serious relationships. Without them life wouldn't be interesting and you wouldn't feel good inside. It took me three years to this date to realize how special it feels to have someone who cares for you in your life. Granted the last one was devistating, I do feel it was worth the weight to chillout and have some 'me time' and regroup my feelings. I may have become a little bitter hearted as time progresses. I know though I'm not the kind of guy who would let the new girl get the short end of the stick because of the past.

Be positive about the past. You survived and learned from it. Now brag about it and whine about the present. Nobody likes people who have drama-mama issues. Yes, it's okay to complain about life. No one likes MONDAY and paying bills. It's one thing to talk to someone about a situation because they maybe able to relate or console you. The opposite can occure when everyday there's 'something' negitive and not progressive.

Tin Foil wraped Ding Dongs taste better. It's a proven fact because back when I was a 10 year old boy. My sister was knocked up with her first child. At the time she was watching Days of Our Lives and told me to run to the store down the street and get her a box of Ding Dongs. I got her money, went to the store and got the Ding Dongs. I was so proude of my accomplishment at the time. It was a huge deal to be trusted with money at this age, as well as to walk five blocks without a parent. Wow, the 90's were different. Anyway, I got home and handed my sister the box. She opened it and found plastic wrapped Ding Dongs. While I walked away from her she proceeded to chuck one of the plastic wrapped Ding Dongs at my head. Not only did this hurt (it didn't hurt for real), but it also taught me a valueable lesson. Tin Foil wrapped Ding Dongs taste better.