Thursday, December 31, 2015

2015 in Review

I get it... A lot of people are like: Sean did you learn anything from this year? The short answer is no... The long answer is NOoooooOOOOOOOoooooo.... However, after putting some serious thought into this question. I realized if I was to recap this year we would have to bring up some past post. Maybe elaborate on them and explain some things. So for those whom hold out till the end of year to read this re-cap episode. Go team retards!

In February I learned as long as you have a puppy in your car and going 20 miles over the speed limit in California. You can get away with a misdemeanor. Which in California is also considered Reckless Driving, which is also considered Drinking and Driving. Which is also no good for me. I can be having Drinking and Driving on my record after I got a ticket for having a pair of Dr. Dre Beats on my head while driving... Allegedly....

In April I realized you can play video games from Super Nintendo and never have to worry about glitches in the game console system. Unlike in todays age you have to wait three console updates before a final product is bearable. So, lets kick it off with a trio of video games from Super Nintendo which crossed over to the X Box 360.

Mortal Kombat: Not the reboot they tried to do. This is literally all three arcade games in one go. And for $3 on Xbox Live! I couldn't pass this nostalgia up. Let me tell you, I owned Mortal Kombat and MK3 on the Super Nintendo. MK was easy back in the day, MK3 made me its bitch at the ripe age of eight. Almost two decades later and MK, MK2, and MK3 still kick my ass... But it's not so much of player's malfunction.
It's 2015 and I live in a age of mobile freedom. Controllers with wires are a thing of the past. But lordy do I wish they were in my household. Everything is wireless these days! Anyway, the learning curve came real quickly to MK, MK2 and MK3 when I would try the good old fashion Down, Left, Punch combo. Low and behold my character (Sub-Zero) looked like he was trying to pull of the hokie-pokie. Which subsequently ended with my ass getting beat by Kano. Which by the way, I'm still trying to figure out if it still means anything when I get my ass kicked by the video game with the first opponent.
Then I decided to swap to MK2 and it was like Mortal Kombat on steroids. After getting my but kicked by the CPU and not seeing myself progressing at all on the totem pole I turned the game off.

Later that night my wife and I are playing MK3 because it has more characters. She chose the tactic of playing the same character. Me, I'm playing as everyone. From Sub-Zero to Sheeva.... Let us just say there's an issue when every character I played is getting their butt kicked by Sindell. Sure she's got like three special moves, which took my wife an hour to manipulate. However, for the most part... It was still the visual of my life getting handed to me by my wife via the lamest character in the whole game.
We've decided though if we have any conflicts in life we should defiantly take it all out on a round of Mortal Kombat. And whomever wins is the winner of the issue at hand. I might as well throw in the towel.

This year for my Birthday was the Mayflower/Pac-Man fight which let me say was like watching a mosquito's penis on the labia fold of a hunch back whale. But we all learned to not mix beer with tequila. Furthermore any friend of mine whom plans on dipping and using a beer bottle as a spittoon should make sure I don't drink of said bottle spittoon.

In June I realized a couple of things. I love the Silent Hill franchise when the ball was rolling. I however, do not like the way the series has been ran up the ringer. Hung to dry and dropped like a piece of shit. Yes, I sound like a whiny fan boy with it's motor broken.
I also learned my arch nemesis Vincent, from Middle School grew up to be a piece of shit. Karma is sweet.

July was one of those months I realized I was loading up a lot on my plate. Next year, absolutely take one thing at a time.

In September thru to November I realized between moving from a crap-tastic condo to an apartment closer to the main town. Finally, we celebrated Halloween and had an amazing dinner with Diddly and his wife. Even his mother and father came to Washington! Which was exciting too.

Finally, December.... I work the night shift now. I'm back to a supervisor position and going to college to be come a Black Belt Business Professional. We had Christmas with the Graves' family this year. Which was a new chapter in my personal history. It's been 13 years since I've done this song and dance. 

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Dear Netflix

I'm pissed... Every year you put the Nutcracker Sweet on Netflix and I have the enjoyment of watching my favorite three movies around this time of the year. However, now I have to settle with A Christmas Carol and White Christmas without the Nutcracker Sweet. And instead I have to settle with Tory Spelling pretending to sing, "sing" her heart out to Christmas cheer my heart!? No... No... No....

Anyway... I'm just going on record to say Krampus saved my year as a new addition to my Holiday Movie Trifecta. Movie review, here we go!

Krampus, as the name implies is a movie about Krampus. Shock and Aw... However, the real story is thinly laid out on an idiot plot. Krampus comes to town to take everything. Unlike the father of giving, i.e. Saint Nicholas.

Anyway, we have the usual Christmas story line of a family welcoming their relatives for the season which means EVERYONE has there own way of celebrating. Well, little Johnny, after some harassment from his cousins decides to wish they (his family) all went away. Low and behold like the goblin's from Labyrinth. That's all Krampus needed to get the ball rolling.

So a big cloud hangs over the house. A typical Michigan storm takes hold and we get to see the goat-man demon of Christmas. However, he's not as prominent in the movie. A lot of Krampus' henchmen being demented toys and 'evil elfs' come to torment little Johnny and his family. Via snatching them up one by one.

By the time everyone is snatched by Krampus he gives little Johnny a little bell with his call sign on it. Leaving the boy in a winter storm after taking everything away from him. Well, the movie, kinda sorta ended on that note and the wife and I are like, "That's the movie!?" Nope, the final act is the boy trying to explain to Krampus all he wanted was a 'Normal Christmas' the way it used to be. There's all of one second of negotiating with Krampus. Which I don't know why, but I had a moment of feeling more for the evil Krampus. He's just doing his job. Apparently it's not good enough. Thus the movie ends. Ends in a 'was it all just a dream' sequence which proved to be flawed just moments later.

The movie is atmospheric. Filled with cliche characters. However, not filled so much to the brim of cliche characters, life choices and idiot plot we, the audience, are neglected of a horror film Christmas style. Ya'know? Any case, the movie ends with a satisfyingly. I'll go on record to say a reimagining of what would have happened if Jack Skelington tried to be Saint Nicholas was totally used in this film. With finally a healthy dose of jump scares which I would expect coming from the same director and writer of "Trick 'r Treat."



Saturday, December 5, 2015

I'm Scrooge to Christmas Movies

It's not that I have it out for Christmas Movies or the season of the year. However, back in 2013 I wrote a blog about "Wholesome Movies" and why they're detrimental to society. And it wasn't till last night when flipping through the categories of Netflix I realized Holiday movies might as well be lumped into the same stew pot.

First movie on the chopping block is another Tim Allen flick of him not being Santa this time, however, trying to be cynical about the whole Christmas season. Which as we can already gander from the two sentence movie description will have him go through a change of heart and love the fuck out of some Christmas.

I'll Be Home for Christmas has to be the next movie up, because I'm sticking to a Home Improvement theme. I remember when Johathan Taylor Thomas was a thing and this was one of those 'movies' for the fans at the seasonal time. Premises consist of him being dressed up as Santa in the desert and learning a life lesson about being humble.

Another category of Christmas Movies which I got burnt out of really quickly in childhood was the thought Santa is this all powerful man. He knows when you are sleeping, He knows when you're awake. He can slide up and down a chimney. He has flying fucking Reindeer. AND ELFS! Why on Earth does it seem like writers take a bunch of sticky notes. Post them on the wall of fucked up scenarios and which ever ones the darts land on is the unavoidable plot he is fixed in and can only be saved by the star of the show. As if to say we're not watching Christmas movies because of Santa anymore. Here's a few examples of Santa being a little bitch:
The Search for Santa Paws: "When Santa loses his memory, a puppy pal will have to help him remember who's naughty and who's nice." Talk about really spooning for the bottom of the barrel.
Santa Buddies: "These young pups get some help finding their Christmas spirit - just in time to help Santa travel the globe!"
Get Santa: "Santa's arrested and his sleigh's been locked up? No worries! One kid and his dad are on a mission to save Christmas!"
Finally, Santa Claws: "Poor Santa has kittens to deliver, but they make him sneeze. If the kittens can't help, they'll be on the naughty list!"
I hope everyone read these and noticed a consistency within them. First, Santa has something fucked up happen to him. He has one job in the whole world to do. Segregate the Naughty and Nice kids and deliver presents to those whom deserve it. None of this, 'puppy pal' crap helping him remember who's naughty or nice. As if Santa is somehow going through dementia. Let alone being locked in the slammer. What, for looking like an old fuck? Finally, Santa has a feline hypersensitivity!? I can't... I can't even.... You know what... If I was the creator of these flicks, the first question I would ask is, "Who the fuck would care?"

Another nifty group of movies is when they take Santa and ghetto the fuck out of him. As if to say he's a man of many styles. Not some Anglo-Saxon of ye-oldie days and lives eternally in his winter castle... Much like the Snow King in Adventure Time. However, in a movie aptly titled "A Country Christmas: A bah-humbug politician wants to banish Santa. But a couple of kids aren't about to let him ruin Christmas!" So now we're melding the arching story line of "A Christmas Carol" by English writer Charles Dickens and then mashing it with Santa. And then mashing it with Dollywood.... I'm not here to say the South doesn't celebrate Christmas. I know they can't quit Santa and the Easter Bunny if it was to save their life from a twister. They're more apt to celebrating Christmas and Easter than Halloween because they would feel more into the season by calling it a Harvest Festival. The politically correct fucks.
Needless to say, doesn't it say something about Government when even in Holiday movies they're the bad guy. No matter what.... Always the sour milk attitude toward a otherwise culturally accepted holiday and its up to two snot nosed kids to 'change the world.' As Bill Nye would say it. Next thing you know I'm an hour and a half into a film and learned two things: 1. I could write a movie about the trials and tribulations of Santa. 2. I just lost an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back.

Thanks Santa!

Sunday, November 29, 2015

This is Halloween!

Well, here we go... I moved into an different apartment in the process of the last post and this post. This took a total of one week to pull off. Week one, Lor and I moved everything we could in multi-trips from Coupeville to Oak Harbor. Then around week two it was all about cleaning and making the new place mer perfect in comparison to us receiving the space.

Then I was on stay-cation, this meant I was home rearranging pieces of furniture. Plugging in and reassembling aspects of the Condo into the Apartment. One room in particular is the spare room. This is a space Lor and I have designated as our "art room." A portion of it is studio. The other portion of it is her art supplies, costumes for Halloween, Ren-Fair and such. However, if you were to look at the room and think about everything which is involved. I fear for Lor and I when we have kids. There's such a mash of personalities. It's going to be interesting to know we're both creative people and we're probably going to be blessed with the High School Jock... Or something. Go figure.

Meanwhile, I stayed at home and or went about and visited the bar for Karaoke with Steve and his wife. Again, always a nice time to hang with people. But to be honest it was one of those weeks and a half were it was easy to just enjoy time. Time with the wife and family. One day I did take Lor and Lord Vader to the pumpkin patch. Photos were taken and we all enjoyed an amazing family outing.

Have I done anything extra-ordinary? Well, I bought my first bed. It's a king size memory foam mattress. My half is literally dedicated to me... It was really weird the first 3 nights to be able to 'sprawl out.' Usually the wifey likes to star-fish and I'm on the edge of the bed. Those random nights when Vader sleeps in the bed he takes up an additional three feet in the wrong direction in the wrong part of the bed. So... Now with the new bed. I'm sleeping like an angle on the firm side of the bed. Wifey has her soft side dedicated to herself. Epic... There's $200 coming back to me this month from my pay check. Then around December I will be fully paid off from Vader and we will own him legally. Which will be another additional $100. Next year, I better be able to save some buku-bucks. Not to say finances are tight. But it could be easier.... It always could be.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

This is why I was never called on for "Show and Tell."

With my deepest apologies to "people" whom read the trials and tribulations of Savage & Smooth. Also known as My Life. Let's do a two month recap of what's been going on the past two months. Which by the way isn't easy to go through, or try to chronologically jot down. I would also like to apologize for any inconsistencies for this read. Again, a lot has gone down... So, where to start.... (I do a quick gloss of my last post to figure out where I left off)

Last weekend I hosted my very own Out of the Darkness walk and raised $150 online and $98 at work. Which brings the grand total for $248! Which is by the way, above and beyond what I thought we could raise in the first place.
Saturday was a nasty day. Over cast was the name of the game. Lor looked at the forecast and told me it was supposed to let up before 11:00 and so in my head I said ONE thing to God... "God, you have a forecast schedule to stick too. Don't fuck me over." I'm sure that's not the best thing to say to God. But to be honest, it was like he had one day to NOT rain on my parade.
I showed up to the park and everyone I expected to be there was there. And I had a few surprises too which was nice. I had a photograph of my father for the walk and we all shared for a moment why we are all there. Everyone walked a 'nature walk' which had a beautiful scenery of the ocean and forest. Too soon 2 o'clock came and everyone went home before I could do my walk. However, a good friend walked with me and we talked about life. Then I went home.

This is an old story which I can't seem to get over. So, I'm going to go over it. I feel like this is something that could have been covered in a different post. However, this is a recap of 'Trials and Tribulations.' Nearly a month ago I got a phone call from our new property management.... Wait, let me go into this too....
So, when we moved into our beautiful condo in February it was nearly the worst situation to wind up in. Let's start with the fact the property management was a piece of shit. They knew two weeks in advance Lor and I were driving from Virginia to get into our condo. Then a week prior I called and said, 'We wont be able to make it on Friday. We'll see you on Monday." We spent the weekend in Woodburn and relaxed from traveling across America. We show up and the property management, "Churchill and Associates" was acting like they had no clue what we were talking about when we showed up. They gave us the garage to put our stuff into but kept the house keys till the utility guy 'fixed' whatever was wrong with the house. Fiar enough, but we had them pay for our hotel stay because Erica didn't put a sticky note on the property or even communicate with anyone we had intentions of moving in on Monday. What a hassle. Topping it all off I had mailed out a Safety Deposit two months prior and they had never "received" the check via mail. So they let us pay the rent and their job was to find the missing check. Two months later and I get a phone call on the 15th of March from them saying, "We haven't received your March Rent." Let's brake this down... On the MEMO section of the Check I've put what each check is supposed to be paying for. These fucks at Churchill and Associates took my March Rent check and applied it as a Deposit because they still hadn't found it. Then they tried to say I was late on my March rent. I KNOW! You can't write this shit.... But here I am.... Needless to say, after I talked to the book keeper I told her straight up, "You just used and official document of intended use in an illegal manner." I pulled up a picture via the bank statement to verify I wrote March Rent on the check she used as a Deposit. Then I said to her, "You will apply this check as the Months Rent as it should have been used as." She agreed and then goes on record to tell me it's company policy to do this without the renters' knowledge. What the fuck kind of policy is this!? You have a policy to commit fraud? Thank you Churchill and Associates, not.
Months later they defaulted on properties they "managed" and sold our property off to Tara Management.
Then about a month into us being owned by Tara Management we got a phone call about them needing to visit our home to inspect the property and see what kind of Dog we have. Okay, fine! They show up, look around the house and then told us our Home Owners Association filed a complaint stating our dog was killing the grass. In fact, I'll share with you the actual letter. And I'll add commentary as I go along...

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Responsibilities & Imagination

I guess there's just a lot of things going on these days that I don't know what to make heads and tails of. Part of it is self inflicting wounds. Others are circumstance by happenstance. Examples mainly come from work.

First off, I more than gladly took up being an Assistant Training Officer for our peeps. Which means my "Monday's" are filled with reaffirming people they are scheduled to lecture about 'something' we need to know. Meanwhile, Wednesday's are filled with prepping and hoping people show up and make sure my paperwork is completed out. So, I can say these people got the training they were prescribed. Then, Thursday or Friday, the lesser of two evils are filled with me logging online all these people (45+ in total) training plans. Oh, brother....

The next subject is about Lean. Or, Six Sigma. Or, "AIRSpeed" as other call it. "Green Belt," as the term is called. Finally as I put it, "Getting shit done in the most productive of manner without defects the first time." This is a multi-project moment for me. Where the first one, I didn't even know I was doing till it was too late. Then, around April/May, I was tagged into an actual project. So, in part the faster I can get into completing projects. The better off I'll be. For Realz!

The third item to blog about is my big mouth. About three, maybe four months ago I joined a Suicide Prevention Committee. It's basically a group of people whom help other co-workers in finding the help they need before drama escalates. I'm totally not putting this down in the best of words, but I'm just going to keep it un-politically correct for now. It's a can of worms. I went to my second meeting and I mentioned we all pitch in for an "Out of the Darkness" walk. Then it turned into me become research and development team with a couple of co-workers. Then it turned into calling the people, then asking the committee if we even wanted to pursue this. Now, I'm waiting on the big boss to say, "Make it happen." And I don't think I have the time in the world to do this. It's seriously a multi-person project. Though, I do have my friends and co-workers.... It's a stress'er none the less.

Finally, I just got training and will hopefully take on the responsibility of help people in their careers. Which means I get to be all involved in nearly everyone's business. Talk about a wild trip! I don't even know if I would have the answers to help Mr. Schmuckatelly. However, I can help if he needed guidance. Set up goals and carry them out. I stop myself and think, if it was me now but in my last company. I would be a great mentor. I think. Wait, do great mentors "think" they're great mentors? Maybe I'm not so much "the shit."
Anyway, if it was me two years ago. I think I would have rocked this responsibility. However, now it's all about putting on my big boy pants. 

If you think about it, five huge responsibilities is a lot to care for. Especially when it's not just my career I'm worried about. There's a load of leadership involved and no idea if anything "works" till I give it my 100%. Which is the bully in my head. I'm the type of person Who HATES waisting time. Especially my time. Though I don't think any of the listed subjects above are a waisting my time. They sure are sucking the life out of me. Holy cow! At work it's like having 10 internet browsers open and shuffling threw each one at a 5 minute pulse. What the duck, batman!

As far as "responsibilities" go... And the listed above is a clever way of exploiting all of those. Meanwhile, in my artistic psychie, I have started to finish my PostOmnis album and begin on another. We've all been waiting my me to release a solo album from P.O. And I think the beauty of this is about to flourish. Already 12 minutes of music is recorded and I'm working on a couple more tracks. The goal is to have about eight songs recorded and released soon. Maybe a winter release. If not, next year around February. 
For any drops of information about my possible solo work. I've been working on manipulating the aurora of sounds in my life. For its Mr. Igor Stravinsky whom said, "Music is given to us with the soul purpose of establishing order in things, including to, the coordination between man and time."
For a long time I did not grasp this till about 3 months ago and now my imagination has caught fire. 

Saturday, June 27, 2015

The Hills of Silence

I'm going to do what I'm sure a lot of people on the net have tried and attempted to do.... I'm going to try and make sense of a game series which has defined gaming, story telling and concepts proven to work and fail. Here we go... Into the haunted town of Silent Hill.

Silent Hill:
You play as Harry Mason. The story is quite simple here. You and your daughter Cheryl are going to a vacation. A cop on a bike passes you on the highway, then moments later you notice the bike is on the ground and the cop is missing. Moments later you see a shadow of a young girl in the middle of the road. You swerve and find yourself waking up from the car crash. Cheryl is missing and now you are drawn to find her in the haunted town of Silent Hill. First thing is first, the game sucks you into a fogged over explorative game. Simply running around empty abandoned streets only to meet monster dogs, and flying bat things coming after you.
A side from the deliberate haunted city we travel to other areas in the game like the Midwitch Elementary School. Which by the way, helps the player to realize it's not just a fucked up town full of monsters. Maybe they came from somewhere other than just earth? So begins the spiral into the "Other world." This is where Silent Hill takes a turn from the simple clean fogged town into a cold industrial metallic dark town of hell. Which is not only a cool transition mechanic and breaks the rules of liner thinking.
Needless to say the cop you perceived to be dead in the preview helps you out with trying to find your daughter. Then there's three other characters whom are residents to Silent Hill. The first is Dahlia a religious heavy mother who also lost her daughter to the evil. Then there's a nurse named Lisa who works for Dr. Kaufman. 
****SPOILER ALERT****
Dr. Kaufman and Dahlia both tried to bring a God of Paradise into the world by sacrificing Dahlia's daughter Alessa. However, her soul was split and became what we have known to be Cheryl. Now that the two souls are back to one the game takes a turn to saving yourself from the quagmire spiritual drama of Silent Hill.
****NON-SPLOILER****
The endings are variant, but the easter egg hunt begins just after you play through and 99.9% of the time receive the good ending. However, there are bad endings, bad bad endings and good good endings. The final to last easter egg is an alien ending which was placed in the game to be a funny. Not cannon at all to the actual game play. However, has been a staple to the future games none the less.
Now the game is actually fairly simple. You run around and kill monsters or just simply avoid them. There are boss fights which must be defeated one way or another. Gun ammo or not, which I don't suggest. Save those bullets till the cows come home. Needless to say, the game is explorative and mind bending. It's also riddled with puzzles and easily will get you lost without a map to refer to. Hell, I've even had to make my own map because of one particular level which gets me easily in a loop. None the less, Silent Hill makes itself the near to God Father of Survival/Horror video games. 

Silent Hill 2:
I mentioned in a previous post "Flashback to a Super Nintendo" the best way to be a sequel to a video game is to use the previous platform and use it as a basis to jump off into another direction. In it's own right Silent Hill 2 could have been a game totally on its own. However, still holds onto what its core values is. i.e. Donkey Kong Country 2 uses the same game mechanics but adds to with little high lights which also become core mechanics. Silent Hill took the idea maybe its not so much a 'cult' behind the fucked up monster. Maybe it's just the town itself which loves to toy with people's imaginations. 
Meet James Sunderland. He had a wife three years ago who died from some sickness. I claim cancer though it wasn't really discussed. However, a couple of days ago he got a letter from his wife telling him to come to Silent Hill to find her. We start in a parking lot just outside of town and travel through a forest, then a cemetery. There we meet the first of a few Angela is a shy and disturbed girl who's trying to find her mom. I personally suspect she's got daddy issues which we find out later on, but there's no other reason why she's around. Aside from the fact she's a fucking basket case like everyone else who travels to this town.
Well, like usual the game has us walking around killing monsters from the simplest to the most extreme boss fights. The first boss fight which becomes a fan base service for the Silent Hill community. Simply put, a monster named "Pyramid Head" haunts you through the chaos and evil of your travels through the town. While exploring an apartment we meet Eddy. A fat individual whose run away from the police because he 'allegedly' killed a dog. Then we find out he's a little more fucked up in the head than we thought. Next we meet a little child girl by the name of Laura. She's in Silent Hill because of James' wife too. However, some conflict takes place.
First, Laura acts like James' wife died weeks, or even months ago. James, our lead protagonist whom we have only his word to believe, acts like three years ago she died. So, here lyes the dilemma. Who do we trust? Naturally, I want to believe the protagonist. However, something tells me he's not giving me the truth as much as the next character in the game. Thus, the player is at a loss of who to believe. Finally, we meet the last character in this game.
A young woman named Maria whom, through James' observation, looks just like his dead wife.
In the end, there's a couple of "good endings" which I don't know which to personally believe is the ending to the game.  I personally, sadistically, after being torn through this story prefer the bad endings for this game. Is that sad I'd rather the protagonist jump in his car and careen into the lake and drown? 
This game is amazing, it stands the test of time in so many levels. Sure, in today's plasma/HD television graphic it would look a little ridiculous. However, when you really get to peel the onion of Silent Hill 2, you get a sweet story line. Unforgettable characters and monsters. The core mechanics like I said still exist. An inventory screen with items you collect through the game and use for puzzles within the game. I can't stress enough how much anybody who is anybody should and need to play this game to appreciate a good survival/horror game. 

Silent Hill 3:
Like most rock bands. You get the debut album which establishes the main sound of what you're about to strap into and listen for about an hour. Then you get the sophomore album which is amazing and wins the Grammys in a sweep. Shortly after, like Mario 64 on the Nintendo 64, developers try to make lightening strike twice in the same place. The results can be muddy, weird and sometimes acceptable depending on what your true aim was in life. For a "true sequel" look at Silent Hill 3. It simply tells you for the first time ever in the series you will be playing as a female in a panicky survival/horror game. Let's dissect this one. 
Heather Mason is a tween who walks through what we know as the haunted amusement park of Silent Hill. Then it all becomes a dream  and we wake up in a hamburger joint. While calling home we notice some douche nozzle named Douglas is a PI working to find you. Well, we evade him and them meet this lady named Claudia. She informs Heather her life is a lie and she needs to figure her shit out. After running home we find out Heather and Harry Mason (from the first game) are family. 
****Spoiler Alert****
Harry Mason is dead! Claudia hired some monster to kill him.
****NON-SPOILER****
Heather gets pissed off at Claudia and teams up with Douglas to go to Silent Hill. While there, we visit the same hospital we ran through in Silent Hill 2. Only to find out it wasn't just a hospital, but an insane asylum. 
We run around town and get to the amusement park where history repeats itself. In the mean time we meet this guy named Vincent who's a preacher for the 'cult' which is still not dead from the first video game. If you haven't caught on, this game bite on to resurrecting God and like a Bulldog, its stubborn to not let go or budge from this premisses. In the end, the bad guy dies. God isn't brought to life. And Heather tells Douglas she's going to go by the name her father gave her. Cheryl.
Now over all, for an actual sequel to Silent Hill. This is the lowest of lows. Simply, we're taking a possible ending to the first game and taking on what would happen if the ending wasn't necessarily the ending. The connection to wanting to like the protagonist goes out the window because Heather isn't relatable. When I was a teen playing this game, there was no way I could understand how Heather didn't want to just ball up in the corner of the room and wish everything disappeared. However, for moving a story forward. This game doesn't go leap and bounds. Simply put this game goes one step at a time to make sure you, the player, know this has Silent Hill connections. In fact, the first half of the game has NOTHING to do with Silent Hill in the first place. Either way, Silent Hill 3 starts the downward spiral to subsequent sequels which the series can't escape from. And only a few of these escape the paradigm. Let's explore the possibilities below.

Silent Hill 4: The Room
I will give you a heads up. This game was not meant to be a Silent Hill game. In fact the working game was simply called Room 302. Till, Konami decided it was time to release a new Silent Hill game. Thus, you take the script and slap the name Silent Hill all over the place. Thus, we get what most guys experience when they don't have a wing man and the chick they think is hot, turns out to be a velociraptor from the Bronx. This game is like going to the game store. On the outside it says Silent Hill 4. Yet, on the inside is this strange and unusual game which 'pretends' to be in the big boys club. 
Henry lives in a simple one bedroom apartment and everything was cool till a couple of days ago he's been experiencing dreams of not being able to leave his apartment. Well, true to freaky form the front door is chained from the inside. In blood a message "don't go out! -Walter" appears. And what does Henry want to do? He wants out of his room. However, Henry has the case of the stupid bug. Simply because we know he cant open the windows. But nothing says he can't take the bar stool and try to smash the window open. What, is he afraid of not getting his deposit back? Believe me, he wont be getting it by the time we finish the game.
Anyway, there's a hole in the bathroom which travels Henry from his "normal" room, into the hellish demented hysteria of what we know and love of Silent Hill. However, we don't go to Silent Hill. We end up in a subway down the street from Henry's apartment. There we meet a slut whom dies. Then we travel to a forest and meet some retard who dies too. Essentally, a lot of people die. Only two areas of the whole game is set in some undisclosed "area" of Silent Hill. The forest and prison area. That's it. Otherwise, we're running around a subway, hospital, outside the apartment complex, and inside the apartment. Otherwise, nothing is really related to Silent Hill aside from the main antagonist.
His goal is relatively simple and doesn't really spoil the whole game at all. Mainly because it's so blatant from the second level of the game. He believes in some way the room 302 is his mother. And he makes a life decision to sacrifice 21 people to bring her back to life. This is where the 'cult' comes back to slap us with its dick. Once again this game has to point at something from either Silent Hill 3 or the original to 'claim to be' apart of the cannon. Silent Hill 2 did that without even hinting a cult. The only reason why I bring Silent Hill 2 into the mix. James runs through an apartment complex and finds a new paper talking about the antagonist kidnapping and killing a few kids. Otherwise, this game is shameless in trying to be apart of the cool guys club.
The significant difference in Silent Hill 4: The Room is just a few things. First, we get the chance to play in first person for portions of the game. Mainly any time when Henry is in his apartment, we play in first person mode. Which helps with the fear factor. I personally hate first person. Second, the inventory aspect is ditched with only being able to hold an exclusive about of items. Bullets stack only to a limit before becoming a whole other item. So, the panic happens when you have to ditch the security of bullets for puzzle items. Finally, the game goes through five levels, then repeats them over again. I would also add a point the monsters aren't typical. Ghost can't just die, and you have to clear haunting in your apartment to keep it safe. Which is an interesting idea that works well for the game. 
Otherwise, its like I said before a pretender trying to be apart of the big boy club. Sadly, you may think I'm really ripping on this game, but I'll tell you... This was the first Silent Hill game I had ever played. 

Silent Hill Origins:
I got excited about this game when I heard it would be a Silent Hill game on the go. Yes, it's a Play Station Portable game. For the best experience I would tell you, the reader, to play with head phones and under the bed sheets in the dark. Have fun!
You are a tr(f)ucker by the name of Travis. We start with him and his buddy talking on the radio, and like normal Silent Hill, static covers up what underlining issues our protagonist has. Well, it's rainy and Travis has a case of not hitting the white angel. He's getting a little tired and nearly runs over a woman carrying a baby. He stops and gets out to see if she's okay, but the fog rolls in and he sees a spirit of a little school girl in his side mirror. At this point he decides to "run" down the street and find a house on fire. There, he hears a girl scream. His heroic moment brings him to find Alessa burned in an upstairs room. When he saves her, he passes outside and wakes up on a bench in the town of Silent Hill. Well, he then makes the decision to go to the hospital and see if the little girl made it.  Here we meet Dr. Kaufman, and Lisa. Both of these characters are reprised from the original game. In fact, from this point on, just note everyone is reprised from the original game minus Harry and Cheryl. This is the prequel after all.
Well, we meet Dahlia who's outright evil from the get-go. Unlike in the original when we thought she was on the same side as us. Nope, within the first five seconds of meeting her she's telling us to back off from what's going on in Silent Hill. To be honest, Travis should have listened. There's really no reason for him to be here. 
In the original Silent Hill, there were only three areas of Silent Hill we actually explored. Origins simply stays on the business district of Silent Hill and gives us an insane asylum and a theatre to run through. Otherwise, there was no "ORIGIN" going on.
Subject to taking a post-it note and throwing darts at ideas. Something happened in the development of this game and the team decided to "ORIGIN" Pyramid Head. Instead, we're working with other shapes. We meet a monster named the Butcher whose wearing something of a block head. Sure, he's menacing. At a time he use to freak me out. However, after beating the game three times around for multiple endings. Seriously, he's so low on the totem pole of monsters. It's like Batman Arkham Asylum, when they hyped the Alligator man. It was a total let down.
By the way, the underlining issues with Travis is so trivial. I won't even spoil it. Essentially he's got mommy and daddy issues. But for reasons why he's in Silent Hill, he could have easily jumped back in his truck like he does in the ending and cary on with life. But he doesn't. However, watching the spirit of Alessa holding a baby and then hearing Harry and his wife name their daughter Cheryl was simply perfect for wanting players to turn off the PSP and jump onto the original game. 
Otherwise, Origins was lame. Some what immersive if you put yourself in the environment to play. Simply put it's a POS game and prequel shamefully trying to be relevant.

Silent Hill: Homecoming.
Seriously, I've been writing this blog post in the past two hours and I'm not even half way done with the whole thing..... I've broke these games down barney style and yet there's four more games to go through.... Here comes Silent Hill Homecoming, which I personally had so much Silent Hill blue balls for when Origins became a total let down. Homecoming took my balls, put them in a vice and tried to squeeze out whatever essence of care I had in the games. 
You are Alex, a young man who is on his way home from war. I suspect him to be in the Marines because of the jacket he wears. However, I could be wrong. Or, the research and development team didn't do a good job at figuring out what branch he's apart of. Anyway, we have a dream of finding his little brother Josh in a hospital. However, no matter what we do. We can't seem to find him. So, we wake up from a nightmare next to Travis in his truck. He stopps in Shephard's Glenn. If you haven't noticed, the home town. All is not normal here. It's foggy and the local judge of the town tells you to go home. We do, and find the whole house has pictures of your parents and your brother Josh. But not one photo of you. What the fuck, Chuck? Well, mom is home and she tells you your father went to go look for Josh and hasn't been home. 
We decided to then go looking for him. Through the cemetery we find the mayor is digging up graves from his family plot. We pass out and end up in Silent Hill. Here, Josh runs into a hotel and we're on the hunt again to find him. We find at this point of the game Pyramid Head shows up for fan service. Simply put, fan service. In Silent Hill 2, he had a function in life. He was the judge of poor demented souls who fucked up in life. In Homecoming, Pyramid Head has no function other than saying, "Hi! Remember me? It's still Silent Hill... No matter what context of the plot we've got going on here."
Well, the mayor turns out to be a broke soul. We meet a detest who has daughter issues. Then we find out the "order" is abducting people in Shephard's Glenn and taking them to Silent Hill.
This is when we travel to Silent Hill with the potential girl friend and the token fat police guy so deep fried in stereo typical Okla-bama southern drawl it annoys even the fabrication of subtlety to the game. It even comes right down to a moment of trying to save his life at one point, and I couldn't hit no fast enough on my first walk through. Holly hell, I didn't know I could hate a character based on stereo typical dogma.
Anyway, Alex beda-bops in Silent Hill when the boat they took across the lake gets comondeered by people from the "order." So, now we're trying to find Dad, Mom, Josh, the girlfriend and the cop guy.... What is the point to this game!?
****SPOILER ALERT*****
Finally, after hours of running around nearly aimlessly in a Jail, a church and finally some underground secret area. We find out people from Silent Hill ran away when Alessa's darkness took over the town. But once every so often of a generational gap. The four founding family's have to offer a sacrifice to the "GODS OF THIS TOWN." Apparently, Alex's family skipped on their promise and thus the home town became engulfed in what happened to Silent Hill. Which leads me to believe the issues of Silent Hill are not just subject to Silent Hill alone. And that, they can either move or spread like a virus.
****NON-SPOILER****
Either way, this game teaches me a couple of things. Without listing them in any particular manner. First, don't EVER make a game for the fans. Or add in characters from the past games just to keep the old fans happy. If you do that, you're totally undermining the subtlety to the story. Next, this game by and large had yet again nothing to do with Silent Hill. It was like playing Silent Hill 3 all over again without playing as a chick. Also, can we please for the love of God drop the "cult/order" bullshit. Seriously, no one cares.... The only reason why these elements even graced the project was because of the movie with also released around the same time. Needless to say, if Silent Hill could drop the cult/order like it was hot. Then we would all be happy in life. Seriously. Finally, if you haven't noticed I mentioned who you play as in the game. I forgot to mention until this point of the series we played as a protagonist who had no idea how to fight. Thus, controls were sticky and hard to play. Which made the game panicky. You went into fighting a monster not knowing if survival was going to be the outcome. Homecoming took this concept and lit it on fire because Alex is from a war zone. He's military... Allegedly.... So, to keep this aspect he's supposed to know how to use a gun, knife, or any other weapons. His agility is off the charts in comparison to Harry. Which was oddly a let down. The fun part to Survival/Horror is to not be able to rely on game mechanics to give you the edge. They're supposed to either not have them. Or, slowly let you build "experience" to avoid greater horrific moments. Not the other way around.
The game walked into my room with a gold star on it, but then after several play throughs to figure out the full scale of the game. I realized how flimsy and simply dull the gold star really was. P.S. This game doesn't move the story-plot or over all thread of Silent Hill. It goes into the bin of pretender video games this series has conjured over the course of a near to decade.

Silent Hill: Shattered Memories
Picking up my shattered heart, Silent Hill: Shattered Memories rolls around and low and behold it's not available to Xbox. Somehow, I woke up in my apartment to find Silent Hill on the Nintendo Wii. Then, after a couple of months I found out they released it on the PSP. Here I go again playing on a portable and having to hide in my bed sheets with ear phones. Now, let's dive into what memories got shattered. I know mine have been since Silent Hill 3.
It's a dark snowy night. You find yourself in a car crash and after waking up you notice Cheryl is missing. Well, time to grab your flash light and cell phone and hunt her down. We run into the cop from the first game whom, depending on life choices you make throughout the game will have a different demeanor to you. Reluctant, we get her to try and help us find her. In the mean time we have to travel to our home and see if she's somehow made it there. Yep, if you haven't gotten the hint. This is a reimagining to the original. Core characters are all over the place and you learn who they are as the story unfolds. However, something to touch on without really taking this game by the ankles and shaking whatever change we can get for lunch.
Harry is trying to find his daughter and throughout his travels through Silent Hill, in a winter storm, we find out maybe she's not so much of a little girl as we thought she was. Also in this installment relationships between core characters are vastly different. However, you have to watch how they react to you, and what they're saying. I've found myself in situations where a huge hint of how Harry knows these people is subjected. However, like the "let's just play through and see if I enjoy this game" mentality I ran right through and totally forgot there's an immersive story line here. How did I get here? I asked myself... Here's where I stopped myself and went right back to the beginning where we all left off.
The game loads and I totally forgot this game is supposed to allegedly "psychologically figure me out." Hold up, Silent Hill 2 did that without even having to blatantly telling me. In a way, Silent Hill had already touched an internal fear without having to psychologically diagnose me. Shattered Memories out right tells you from the get-go, what you do in the game will change the aspect of the game. Examples: If I run around and look at nudity photos, run into the girls restroom, and unzip jackets from an mannequin. Well apparently that means I'm some kind of porno-hound who's really into getting my dick wet. Conversely, if I'm looking at photos of family's and stuff like that. Then apparently I'm the wholesome family type of guy. Alternatively, if I just breeze through and try to not alter the game at all on the in game mechanic. Well the game does this thing from point blank of starting every segment of the game with a quiz or task. The first one is a question sheet of Yes and No's. Then it takes those answers and plays off of them. Some of them are subtle and others are blatant. Which to me was odd.... Odd in a bad way. Like, for some reason my colouring concept of what my home looks like will alter whatever the house is Harry is trying to get to to find Cheryl. Again, subtle and not necessary.
There's only a new character I'll point out from the game which grace this installment was a singer name Michelle. She's a visitor to Silent Hill and is here for the High School Reunion. Needless to say she's got some drama in her life which I've found either way you play the game. Shit's going down and there's no way to help fix other people's issues. Plain and simple, which is a tough pill to swallow sometimes. Speaking of pills! Someone's a pill popper and it's NOT Dr. Kaufman. 
Now for what we've all been looking forward to. The horror of Silent Hill. First and foremost Silent Hill has gone for the subtle approach of scaring the hell out of you. The world is covered in snow right now. So, does everything go polar opposite? Does the world turn into an industrial mayhem of evil and fire? Hell to no. We end up with time stopping, Everything turns into a deeper shade of blue. Doors which can't be opened are totally covered with thick ice and finally. The monsters are deformed human bodies. The only thing we've got going for ourselves is the fact a haunted phone call from Cheryl tells us to run. We can't fight them at all, and we need to just run. Meanwhile, the name of the game for every stage we play through is to not get, don't laugh, hugged to death by the demented monster people. It's a sequence of hide and seek. Because you can hide under beds, in closets and many other areas. But then you have to run around aimlessly to figure out where the safe zone is. Then, to add insult to injury, if you use your GPS to map your route. It makes Harry walk incredibly slow. Like he never heard of multi tasking at all. 
Anyway, the point here is without spoiling the end is satisfying for a Silent Hill installment. It definitely is a different ending. There's simply only one ending which overall closes the game. We realize the reality we've conjured in our head is not what we really lived. Sometimes the mind over writes reality so everything is 'better' in life. The simple search for truth or the realization of truth can break us from the core. Maybe it's good to let go of the built reality we've all made instead of alienating those around us. 
Yes, I may have learned a lesson from Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. However, does not excuse itself from being a crap-tastic Survival/Horror. In fact, I can't recall any horror in the game. Interesting, I went in for a Survival/Horror and all I got was a game which tried to psycho analyze me. Which let me say was like taking a "survey" on Myspace back when social media was a brand new baby of the internet. It's really just subject to interpretation. One second I can be upset taking a survey, the next I could be the happiest dude for miles and honestly it wouldn't matter what out come I got. Essentially Silent Hill: Shattered Memories was an aim and a miss for trying to step out from the mold. However, this is a game from the same people who made Silent Hill Origins. Which again is a game we try to not bring up ever again. Anyway, to close out the absolute ending. Depending on your game play will show one of four different videos Cheryl will watch which will give you some kind of idea to what Harry really was like in life. Again, totally based on how you the player plays the game.

Silent Hill: Downpour
My Grandma use to tell me when it rains the monster come out to play. Who knew she was on to something, because that's exactly what Silent Hill's Downpour is all about. Take way the snow, and we're left with a post apocalyptic town. But let's get right to the main character....
Murphy is an inmate who dreams of bashing a former inmates skull in. He wakes up and a police officer tells him today is his special day. Ready for transfer, your arms are cuffed and you walk the green mile. Not, you walk to a bus which is then under watch by a female police officer. Well, true to form the bus driver isn't paying attention to the road and we nearly miss a fake hole in the road. Thus the bus crashes. When we wake up Murphy seems to be the only survivor. Well, like any other inmate in a predicament like this we wanna run away. Well the police officer finds us and slips on a cliff. So, choice comes back to haunt us.
Basically, whatever we do from this point on will alter the games overall ending. OH BOY! Then we are on the road to get to Silent Hill and what comes back to bite us in the ass? Weapons which break when over used. This was something I totally forgot to mention in the Silent Hill Origins section. And let me just say to cover my ass from before. There's a huge problem when a Katana is used five times on a monster and somehow breaks. Like when did the metal become a Snickers candy bar? Anyway, this came back to bite us in the but again. However, with Downpour an axe actually seemed to last longer than I had originally hoped for. However, when it breaks we're right back to fighting with fist agains mainly two types of monsters. Or until we find another weapon. Which aren't always laying around.
There's a flashlight function which is different for the game. There's essentally two types of flashlights which will help Murphy through the game. The first simply illuminates. The other uses UVA/B lighting to illuminate blood or some kind of bodily fluid. Sometimes even just simple clues to help in finding a path or hint to a puzzle. Either way, its an improvement to a function which has been widely over looked for all the previous installments. Up till now, all the characters had simply ran around with just a flashlight. It makes me wonder if James, Heather or Harry had an UVA/B light what would illuminate other than just helping them see in the dark.
The monsters are simple. We have a male and female who look like they were covered with pitch and oil. The females have claws and have the scream which makes Murphy stop and cover his ears. The males on the other hand just brawl. Needless to say, there's some kind of bat thing which is rather brutish. They're scary at first and having multiples are a pain in the ass. Finally, there's a bigger and stronger version of the male monsters which take time and effort to kill. They're rarely ran into. But they do exist. Finally, finally... If you thought we ran out of boogie men. Well, we actually have a character named The Boogie Man. He simply wears a black trench goat, and a bio mask. And he holds a rather large hammer. Unlike the Butcher this guy only shows up a couple of times and yields nearly the same amount of panic you would have for Pyramid Head if you were first playing this game. I think players would laugh at Pyramid Head. However, for those in 2000, Pyramid Head was (is) a scary mother forker. Go figure.
Needless to say, an underlining moment in Silent Hill Downpour is the fact as soon as goal one of running away from the bus is completed you end up in Silent Hill. As soon as Murphy enters Silent Hill, it's like he took a look and tried realized what a dump it was and makes it a goal to escape Silent Hill. Maybe he should stay for a while. I've heard it's a rather charming place. 
Like clock work there's some kind of baggage to our protagonist. I didn't really hit it in Homecoming because it gives away the plot terribly. However, for Murphy we find out he was put in jail because he allegedly left his son outside for a few moments and instead of watching his son like a responsible parent. His kid drowns in the near by lake. Murphy goes to jail, for some reason... Because in a logical judicial system we would have amounted it up to complacency and freak accident. Well, this leads Murphy to a hard core lifestyle. Then somehow through the game he's trying to play it off he's actually a good guy stuck in situations which his moral choice goes out the window like a normal person and he makes the most horrible choice in life. Example, killing another inmate isn't going to make you a better person. Even if it gets you to a 'better' jail than the one you're in. 
Anyway, the inner conflict of Murphy is realized and then we have a boss fight we have to finish. Twist of a twist goes down and finally we're left with an ending which isn't as fulfilling as the predecessors. Example: James gets closure and either just leaves Silent Hill, or kills himself. Heather gets revenge for the death of her father. Henry stops Walter from trying to invade his apartment. Murphy, we figure a little something out about his relationship to the cop chick. Otherwise, everyone lives oddly happily ever after. 
Which leads me to ask.... What the hell were we even here for!? Between a road sign saying, "Silent Hill 5 Miles" and the opposite direction. Sometimes I would like to reach through the screen and tell the main character, spelunking is a fun hobby to take up in consideration to all the monsters you're about to kill. Just giving you a heads up.
Deep down inside, Downpour is a proper sequel for existence in the cannon. It doesn't hold on to anything 'cult' related. There's no God being resurrected. We simply have a poor soul with some baggage being placed in an unfortunate set of events he has to go through. In any case, Downpour hits all the right notes but the melody isn't quite what we're looking for. The game however, does riddle itself with easter eggs and one in particular, incase you ever wondered where Silent Hill 4 took place in. Well, apparently Silent Hill 4 does take place in the town. Just in a separate area from where we've either explored or knew of. We know Silent Hill 4 took place in Ashfield. But where that is in relative to Silent Hill. Now we've figured out it's just a district of Silent Hill. So, here's what raises a few questions. When does Silent Hill 4 take place? I suspect it takes place prior to Origins for a few reasons. First, Origins being the Alessa cannon arks with Silent Hill becoming the haunted town we all have grown to love. So, with the room being in the haunted suburb of Silent Hill in Downpour, we can safely deduce the timing of it is prior to Origins and happening either before or in the meantime of origins happening.
The game mechanics are simple in the game. Use items to break locks. Kill monster with weapons and collect items to unlock puzzles which progress the game. The game is linear and allows you to sandbox in Silent Hill for the most part. However, parts of the game are "unlocked" as you continue the story line. Eventually, three levels in you'll be able to roam around the town killing monsters as the moments arise. The game has a tendency to change its weather forecast from time to time which means, you have to go into a building or under ground to a subway to get dry. The weather stops raining and then you're allowed to explore again. Now for fear factor, the game isn't really scary. There's jump scare moments which are far and few between. Which allow you to use a quick time event (Another game mechanic from Origins which was horrible then, and horrible now). 
But, all of this isn't even scary. I totally forgot till now of a "monster" which is introduced to chaise you down and destroy you like an item entering a black hole. The only problem I have here is the fact it's like trying to reinvent the idea of the monster from Shattered Memories. However, instead of death by hugs. We have a black hole chasing after us. What would have been scarier is the fact we don't need to know what's actually trying to kill us. If we can't fight it, why should I know what it is? Take a hint from every scary movie in history. We know a girl is running through the woods from some psycho killer. Then she falls down and the killer gets her with a knife. We don't need to know anything else. We don't need to know about a ski mask or a sack bag with eye cut outs; JASON! Ya'know what's funny, I feel like I'm pointing out a subject matter I would have thought was already figured out. If you look back at Silent Hill 2 they handled subtlety with an art form. I was scared of the random bodies found on the ground. Because I didn't know who was killing these people. Seems like Silent Hill needs another lecture in subtlety because somewhere between two and now we've lost what was horrific about the game, aside from blood, guts and gore. 
Overall a fun game, a different installment and something to look at and say it's at least standing alone. This game doesn't want to be with the popular crowd. However, the far and few game mechanics which have haunted this series still can't stop trying to make it's way into our homes. From breaking weapons, obscure reasons for protagonist to be in Silent Hill, and monsters which don't really put the fear factor in as much as they used to. 

Silent Hill: Book of Memories
This God awful game hit the shelves faster than a diabetic going into shock from a sugar high. Pretty much you create your character and on your birthday you get a gift from the postman debuted in Downpour. Well, without much thought you read the book and see all your life memories are written in. And who could have written this book? Why would they write a book about you in the first place? Well, the question is then raised. What if we rewrote our past? When falling asleep you enter the world of Silent Hill.
Here we go with rolling through a dungeon crawler. You run into an "angel" of Silent Hill whom then gives you a goal to meet in each level. Most of them are collecting keys to all the rooms. Or defeating a specific monster. And or escorting a dog through the level to the exit without getting hurt. If you're a 'fan.' Then you'll note a lot of old Silent Hill monsters come into this video game. Zombie nurses, the Needle monsters, Pyramid Head is a boss fight. And same with the Butcher.
The game gets really annoying for me because it's not immersive. It's a portable game exclusive. The plot is really thin because of a KARMA mechanic. Basically the monsters in Silent Hill will leave Red (evil) residue or White (good) residue. You collect this to dictate if you're an evil son-of-a-bitch. Or you go for the pure in heart route. Either way, it also changes the outcome of each section to your gaming experience. You do this for three levels per worlds. If I remember correctly there's like five to six of these worlds. 
Meanwhile you collect this gold laying around Silent Hill called Memory residue. Another annoying mechanic is purchasing upgrades. NEVER AGAIN SILENT HILL. Seriously, this is when people should have just walked away. At what point in history had we ever payed the game with in game money for "upgrades?" I'll help you with this... NEVER. Which is why it's so stupid of a concept. Here's what they essentially did. They took Silent Hill and tried to make it into Diablo/World of Warcraft.
I found myself two worlds deep and realizing, I really don't give a shit about this game. I named the character after me. Made "choices" I thought I would make, and here we go... a moment of Silent Hill Blue Balls once again.

So I saw what is known as the preview of Silent Hill's next installment. Simply called, Silent Hills. On the Playstation you can buy the demo "P.T." and see what it's all about. Here's all I've got to say about it. Finally, something scary, haunting and totally Silent Hill. I'm really excited for this next installment and if I am a believer of history repeating again. Then I might as well say hello to Silent Hill Homecoming again. 
Thank you for reading the blog on Silent Hill. I've never really posted a Video Game Review. Nor, do I call myself a video gamer. However, I've done my research and played all these games with an open heart. I hope I didn't detour anyone from not wanting to play any of the Silent Hill games I either bashed or pissed on. I believe it's all subjective and personal through the viewers eyes and perspective. So have fun with any of the installments. 

Karma helped... For once!

I would like to thank Karma for once again sticking it to the man. In today's episode I'm going to talk about bullying, bullies, and explain how karma will get their ass. 

I was in a one horse town middle school (maybe 100 kids in the graduating class) when I met my bully. His name was Vincent. From the moment this guy saw me on the bus, in the hallways and sometimes in class. The torment was unpredictable, and ruthless. It played on all levels of psychological and physical torment which was extraordinary for me to experience. I to this day can not understand why people would want to cause unadulterated hate on anyone just because they want to. I know I'm talking about kids though who don't give two fucks....
Eventually, it was the last semester. I finally had enough of this guy fucking with me. I waited till the PE class was 'done' and I followed him down the stairs to the locker room. Two flights of stairs with a platform. The moment his foot touched the last step. I jumped the mother fucker and beat the shit out of him. Then I was suspended for two weeks.
Next we were in the same damn wood shop class and he was throwing little pieces of wood at me. So, I found the biggest piece of wood and threw it at him. It hit him in the face and once again I was suspended. Good lord!

Well, eventually I moved away and I never had a bully again in my life. I promised myself if I ever saw him again I would kick his ass again though. And you may think I'm the one being the violent one. But let's remember it went both ways. He was the one kicking me down flights of stairs, pushing books out of my hand, and stuffing me into my locker. 
Just this week. A little earlier, I did some internet surfing and found out a couple of things about my middle school tormentor.

1. He's a jobless bum.
2. He's a baby daddy, with a previous marriage and allegedly marrying another.
3. He's stuck in a one horse town just shy of the town we both used to live in. 

In contrast:
1. I'm not jobless.
2. Not a baby's Daddy!
3. And married to my beautiful wife! No drama there. 
4. I'm not stuck in a one horse town. Let alone the same damn one as everyone else is. 

Now, I'm sure you're sitting there thinking, "Sean! There's no need to draw lines and compare." But if you think about it. There is a sweet taste of victory which has been thirst quenching since I could remember. Let's just say, I enjoy like anyone else the view of watching people who are complete twats fall from there self made pedestals. In fact, there was a specific airline these people could all jump on and I'm sure no one would have stopped them. Especially if it just so happened to "vanish" off the planet. Then we would have to call in Scully and Mulder to investigate. 
Either way, the point is, the best way to ever get any ounce of revenge on anyone in life is to wait it out and then watch the train roll off the tracks. 

Saturday, June 6, 2015

More Hospital Horror Stories

On a yearly basis, I have to go to the hospital and get a check up. I know I'm a lean-mean-crime fighting machine, and these doctors need to know if I'm health. Okay, I need to know if I'm health. I could care two pennies what the doctors think. They're job is to tabulate the data and tell me what their professional opinion is. Because you and I both have opinions like we both have assholes too. (Can you tell I'm really bitter about going to see the doctors?)

All right, I show up on time and make sure I have my medical records. In total I only had three places to go to. The first was dental. Which is like jumping from the first level of hell to level five. There, the nurses took x-rays and then sat me in a chair. Here I was poked and prodded. I have a tiny dent in a tooth which I need to look out for. Otherwise, they will have to put a filling in. Not a bad gig till they all noticed I had a wisdom tooth.
For those of you who have not read my blog, you'll note I've had a horror story with dental before where I went in for a wisdom tooth extraction and the doctor really wanted to pull two teeth; not one. And you may be asking yourself, "Sean, why would you care?"
Well for those of you who didn't know, back when I was a teen my Ortho thought it would be a brilliant idea to pull a baby tooth with no adult coming in. Then, drop the Wisdom tooth and place it as a molar. Most doctors just see an exploded Wisdom tooth at first glance. I have to point out to them to start counting teeth. Once this goes down, they usually tell me, "Well, if there's a cavity or anything wrong with that tooth. We're going to have to pull that one too." These people are just tooth pulling happy. Geeze...
Anyway, I survived dental with no issues. Phew! We have a dental cleaning scheduled and life is going to be great!
Then I made my way to Laboratories. Here, I check in and the lady asked if I can pee in a bottle. This is when my bladder turns really shy. First off, I had been fasting since 8PM. It's about 8AM and this lady thinks I've had my daily dose of 4 cups of coffee... So, I opted out of the wiz quiz and asked if I can just donate my blood for the required test. She said sure and we head into the small room of a laboratory. In each corner of the room was a chair for drawing blood. Music filled this room. If memory serves me correct I recall at least two of the chairs being used by other people. I sat in my chair. The nurse put the chest rest in front of me. I'm sure to prevent me from leaving, or giving my arm more than a simple arm rest to be on.

***For those of weak of heart do not read on***
The nurse begins to place the needle in my arm. Took her longer than usual. I say this because I've never had a nurse have a horrible time finding an arteries or vein. Any case, she finally applied the needle into my arm and blood began to spill on the floor. I was just more surprised I had fast flowing blood and was leaking like a faucet. She ripped out the needle and placed a swab on my arm. She told me to apply pressure. So, I did. Then she grabs a new needle and asked for my arm. A couple of people came into the room to clean up the hemoglobin mess I just caused. The nurse did get a vial of blood. But she completely missed the damn basket on the chest/arm bar and the vial falls to the ground and cracks spilling MORE blood on the floor. This would have been Dracula's dream come true! Anyway, she tells me, "Oh, we cant use that one." She reaches for a new vial. But this vial wouldn't allow any blood to pour out. So, she tries a third vial which filled. Then we finally made it to the fourth vial of blood and we were finally done!
***You may continue reading on*****

The end goal was to provide two vials of blood. Mission finally complete. However, before leaving the laboratory the nurse told me she can't have me just leave. Apparently she has no clue how much blood I may have lost and that I needed to sit down for an hour. Well, time for breakfast! It's about 9:30 by this point and I was hungry, grumpy because of no coffee. So, you know how usually nurses take your blood and then give you cookies and OJ. Well these mother forkers walked my lumps to the cafeteria and had me pay for scrambled eggs with sautéed veggies and a venti White Chocolate Mocha.  Not the usually prescribed antidote to loss of hemoglobin. But what a horror story... And I was fine throughout the whole thing. It was the other two patients in the room who went pale as a ghost.

After an hour of sitting down and drinking my mocha and backing it up with a laté. I  walked back to the Laboratories and did my wiz quiz. Apparently it's been this new rule, people 30 and below need to be tested for the clap. (shakes head) I know, it's like these people don't get the demographic of people being sexually active is not ages 30 and above. So the new bench mark to get to is the age of 30 so I don't have to be wiz quized. However, after 30 I start getting a prostate exam. So, let's weigh the options.... Shall we? Piss in a bottle, or finger up the ass? I'll take wiz quiz for 500 Alex. After all this shenanigans I walked right back to the beginning of this whole adventure to talk to a "doctor."
This is when I got the unsettling news my vision is slipping. It's not 'much'.... but it's enough to go in for corrective glasses. Apparently my vision is 30/20 in both eyes. I explained I don't drive when at night or when it's really, really early. Mainly because I've noticed my night driving is not easy for me. I panic because lights are brighter than they should be. There's a heavy aura around all the signs which makes it hard for me to see. Most of the time its just a green sign with white streaks in it. Or yellow with black streaks which should have been stick figures. Well, thanks to my parents and the genetic pass down. However, unlike my siblings I've outlasted them all. Either because I didn't really need them or I'm just a stubborn bull. In any case, I finally have to go in for glasses. For now, they said they would prescribe me "reading glasses" for driving. Which I can live with. But I'd probably just wear them for everything.

So, there's my new Hospital Horror Story. I hope you all enjoyed the humor to my expense because I sure felt all the pain. My arm which the nurse drew from is bruised. Yes, I look like a crack addict. This weekend is long sleeves till I'm back to normal. Go figure.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

A couple months in our NEW HOME!

Lor, Vader, Bentley and I are settling into our new home! It's been about a month and we've made it as much of a home as we can. We've been making friends along the way too. Which is a huge bonus for the both of us. Though I'll say a few of them are from my new job.
Most of it though is just getting into a routine for me. I work really well with a schedule. However, I also like being left to my own devices. Thus, Lor and I began our mini misadventures in Washington.

Our first weekend we went across the sound to a town called Port Townsend. There we traveled south to Poulsbo/Bainbridge Island and had amazing doughnuts at Slys Bakery. We also visited Hot Shots Cafe, and a dog shop in the old town. Then we traveled across the sound into Seattle. We had lunch/dinner at the Pot Belly. Then we took a stroll through Pikes Market.

This is an adventure of its own. However has also become a main staple to our weekends. We found a 4 Aker fenced in park which Lord Vader can run freely in. Which has become a small blessing in the long run of being able to let our dog run around. We found out really fast he loves to play with the big dogs. Not saying he doesn't do well on the other spectrum. It's just come to my observation Lord Vader loves to play with the shepherds, Danes, etc. Its been really fun to just go to the park and spend nearly half the day. Vader gets tuckered out. Then Lor and I are nearly exhausted. We've come to love the dog park adventures. 

On the flip side, while working at my new job I've created new bridges with people. The first is Julian. He's helped me transition from working from the program I used to work with. Like, to explain, it's all the same program. But it's different because the VED's are different. There's two programs to launch instead of just the one I'm use to. It's been a bitter pill to take. Or, it's been a constant eating of humble pie when this program I use for my job starts to kick my ass. I'll say for about two months it's been really hard to work and problem solve. Then I sit back and go, "Holly cow. That was tough!" I'm very blessed to have Julian help me out. Aside from work, he invited Lor and I to an Easter dinner.
It was really interesting because Lor and I don't usually celebrate. We don't have kids. Thus, we don't make coloured eggs. We're ovo-lacto-pesca-terrain. However, we made amazing deviled eggs. Julian and his beautiful wife, and three kiddo's were a blessing to celebrate Easter with. We had lots of fun hunting for eggs. Lord Vader and Julian's Great Dane, Chloe had lots of fun. 

May there be Spring

My birthday rolled around again! This time it was a complete 180 from last years birthday being on a ship in the middle of the Arabic Sea. Which is a blessing. I spent the whole day essentially with my beautiful wife, Lor.
I wake up early in the mornings still. Doesn't seem to matter if it's O level or I level. I still seem to be a fan of the Early Bird Special. So, on my birthday Lor woke up with me and made me a special birthday breakfast. Yum! On my birthday was not just a day to celebrate my 27 years of life. But also a celebration of one year and five months of being Ovo-Lacto-Pesca-tarian (sp). Last year on deployment I did this and the struggle, though it didn't have to be this hard on my body and mind, was something I personally wanted to do. I found out within myself and proved to others, it can be done.
Breakfast was amazing! It's not often I get a breakfast. I'm the dry toast and coffee kinda guy. To have a well thought out breakfast was very nice.
Then I left for work. When I arrived it was nearly five hours later and I was allowed to leave. A week prior we had a uniform inspection. Thanks to my beautiful and talented wife, she sewed on all my patches onto a new jumper for me. Seemed to have taken all evening to do. However it was fun. I passed the inspection and because of this, I was allowed to leave work early on Friday.
I got home to begin un wrapping birthday gifts! This year I'm the proud owner of a Waffle Iron, a Pageboy Hat, and a Mighty-Mug. If you've never seen a Mighty-Mug. It's a coffee mug which sticks to any flat surface. It's the answer to the office junky who is notorious of spilling coffee mugs. The Mighty-Mug refuses to tip over with the flick of a wrist. NOT A PUNCHING BAG! But a typical, flick of the wrist. As if you somehow forgot where you may have placed your mug on the desk.
After gifts and cards from the loved ones and scrolling through Facebook for birthday wishes from friends, family and fans. Lor and I began making my birthday cake. This year it was one of those years where I didn't know what kind of cake I wanted. My three favorite kinds are: Devils Food, Angles Food, and Carrot Cake. Either of them are great to have. This year, Angles Food won. And it was fun to teach Lor how to make one because she had never heard, made or tasted Angles Food before!
In consideration to last year on the ship where I didn't have cake and instead a paper bowl full of Apple Cobbler. I'm more than grateful of my Angles Food Cake. Then Lor treated me to dinner at China City. A local restaurant in our neighboring town.

My birthday was the beginning of Party/Super Party. Saturday really kicked my 27th year off. We started off with going to the beach and walking on the strand. Lor and I love this beach because it's all off leash for Lord Vader. Within our time there we stumbled on a beautiful dog owned by a group of bikers. Lor and I hang out with them and tossed a few beers with them. Everything seemed cool till biker guy number 1 started to call biker guy number 2 a bitch. At this point, the two of them got into a drunken fist fight. I grabbed the pick-nick basket. Lor grabbed Lord Vader and we both walked away from the situation.
Later into the evening we went to my friend Julian's house and watched "The big fight." Readers of old will note, I'm not a sports guy. I'm not a fan of anything extracurricular than music and art. So, because I couldn't pronounce one boxer's name correctly and noted he had a nickname of 'Pac-man.' I decided to keep it even and call the other boxer "Mayflower." I know his name has nothing to do with the Pilgrims or the Ship. I figured it was only fair to make fun of one and the other. That way real fans at the house wouldn't feel "offended" I didn't keep my opinions and words even-steven.
Three shots of Tequila later and somehow I got white boy waisted. I tapped out.... Said goodbye to everyone and then made it into the car. THIRTY MINUTES later we get home and Lor got me into the bed. I realized the next morning, if it was up to Lor she could ruffy me when I'm drinking at anytime. Somehow in my drunk-stuper she had in her hand two white pills. She said, "Here take these." And without thought, I grabbed them. Popped them and fell asleep. The next morning after Super Party I actually woke up without feeling like ass from a hang over.
Apparently she popped me a Tylenol and a B-12 pill with a cup of water. My wife is so awesome!

It was a fun weekend. A fun Party/ Super Party! 

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Flashback to a Super Nintendo!

The Super Nintendo Entertainment System is one of those lap dogs every family was glad to have back in the 90's. However, it did have it's moments back then too. We talk today about all the glitchy, clunky, ridiculous video games today which I'm sure we've all wondered how they even made it to the shelf. Let's take a trip back to the 90's.

Super Nintendo was one of those machines which didn't make a big splash when it first launched. Unlike today's gaming, the Wii was launched with Mario Galaxy hand in hand. The 90's is when we all got to learn if you have a product, you need a reason to buy it. To give you a heads up on this one, there were Mario games for the Super Nintendo. However, it was too little too late. The machine was working with video games like "Ken Griffy Jr. Winning Run." Pixelated baseball games with no real reason to play. I'll go on record I'm bias on this because maybe at the time I was playing a season of baseball in elementary school and I figured, "Why am I playing a video game about a sport I'm already doing!?"
Low and behold it was three years into the release of the Super Nintendo and the company still didn't have shit of main staple to the console. Then, when all was lost. DONKEY KONG COUNTRY hit the markets creating a black hole in space which has drawn me back years and years later into playing. In fact, it's this game alone which I fall into a quagmire of nostalgia of great gaming at the age of twenty seven years old.

Donkey Kong Country became the staple to Super Nintendo like Mario & Duck Hunt to Nintendo. The premises was very simple. Donkey Kong's hoard of bananas were stolen by the evil alligator king. Thus, Donkey Kong and his friend Diddy travel through his island beating up bad guys and bosses to claim his bananas. The overall game play is a scroller just like Mario but in 3D. There are barrels to throw, balloons and bananas to collect, and tokens to claim for extra lives. The music is beautiful and ambient. About three levels in the player becomes engulfed into the simple levels and game play. This was just the basis for a string of sequels which allowed Donkey Kong to become the contender to Mario and his string of muddy sequels.
To simply put Donkey Kong Country 2 (Diddy's Quest) is when we find out it's not just about Donkey Kong. Diddy and his girl friend Dixie travel to the evil alligator's floating island in hopes of saving the kidnapped Donkey Kong. This is when the game play, though still the same as the previous, jumps off the dive board and became one of the best sequel games in history (Note: Silent Hill 2 is also in this list of sequel games). Aside from going from the start to the finish, there's bonus levels with coins to collect and cash in for hidden levels. Then there are hidden Level Coins to collect for your over all score in the game.
The last and final Donkey Kong Country game to hit the Super Nintendo before a vow of silence for three years. Provided the subsequent had been released within a year difference. However the shy to difference with Donkey Kong Country 3 (Dixie Kong's Double Trouble) was the added mechanics of using boats to travel from place to place, talking to bears which had items you have to use, and collecting BANANA BIRDS. Because it's all about the BANANAs if you haven't noticed. Anyway, DK3 wasn't the strongest game. The concepts become muddy with repetition. The levels are more intricate. However, not immersive and as explorative. You play as two characters which are far from removed from the original cast as possible. Mainly because the main plot is saving the two heroes we grew to love from the first video game. Which raised the notion, "I can understand if Donkey Kong got kidnapped. Maybe he was asleep one day and shit went down. But for both Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong to be kidnapped. Now you're just getting crazy."

Six paragraphs in, and I still haven't gotten to the dark side of owning the Super Nintendo. So, lets get get into the Star Wars collection. Yes, Lucas Arts released the original Star Wars video games on the Super Nintendo. Well before games like "Star Wars Battlefront," or "The Force Unleashed" became a thing. Anyway, these games.... I own "The Empire Strikes Back," and "Return of the Jedi." Needless to say, I get how the game play is. You have to play a little and figure it out to understand an appreciate the mechanic. Because the notion of "saving a game" goes out the window. It's actually a set of fun games. However, it's very password heavy. There's no save mechanic. Thus, it doesn't matter if you made it to the second level. You're going to die five lives later and have to password yourself back to where you were. However, Star Wars did break boundaries such as flying around in the Millennium Flacon through astroid fields. As in in Jedi you fly along the Death Star killing tie fighters. In the original Super Star Wars, the scene with the tie fight was also a memorable game mechanic. Nearly, first of it's kind. It all meshed well into this over all game where it wasn't just a scrolling game with characters from the movies killing enemy's from point A to point B. Nor was it just a game about flying around in space ships or space cars. The game was extraordinary for the most part.

Now to the shady side. Again, a lot of crap-tastic video games came out in the 90's. Super Nintendo was not ashamed of it either. Recently I watched a documentary of how Atari lost all creditability when Steven Spielberg's E.T. video game hit the shelves. Well, here comes a video game which wins the holly grail of terrible concept, and game play. Lets just start off with the fact the video game set up starts with giving me an option of which character to play as. Do I want Batman or Robin? Personally, I'm always the Robin in the group. Not quite the lead super hero. In real life I feel like Spiderman. Sure, I have my own comic stream. I have my own super powers. Then I hang out with the likes of X-men, Thor, Cpt. America and all of a sudden I'm the sidekick. Well, like normal, I'm playing as Robin. Which by the way, aside from having a stick to beat the stupid out of the bad guys. There's no difference between the characters. However, the bat-gadgets are slightly different depending on character too.
Now for game play..... The amount of issues stagger within the first ten seconds of game play. First and foremost, the game starts in Arkham Asylum. After fighting your first few bad guys, you go through a door to the next level where there's riddles left by the riddler. However, they don't amount to anything but a lock you can kick open. The first one tells you to use your grapple to get to the next level. But hold up, there's no way to know how to even use your grapple. Then after five minutes of button combinations and realizing the select button is the grapple. It only works from an angle. Why even give me the option if I need to go up!? Then I deduced I needed to press up while pressing select. This became a 1 in 10 chance I did the combination right. Finally, after some rooms later I ran into a situation where I was in a room with nothing going on! Literally two minutes later I realized I was on a top floor and needed to get down. Yet again, no directions, or idea other than sitting on the couch and thinking, "What the fuck does this game want me to go." Later I finally made it to the second level. Then I ran into yet again another moment of trying to figure out where the fuck I was supposed to go. I already went to the second floor, killed all the bad guys and cleaned out all the health packs I could find. No riddles to be found and I found myself asking myself again, "What the fuck am I doing!?" Then it hit me, I'm an adult and I don't need to take this abuse. So I turned off this God awful game.
It's  God awful game to a near to God awful movie. This game came out around the same time as the movie to video game thing was supposed to be cool. However, this is a game from Acclaim. Whom bought a Brit developer in the process of development. The out come if you're verse in video games was like playing another game we've all come to know and love. ...
Mortal Kombat is the one video game I swear in my childhood took all my allowance in quarters. Midway and Acclaim took this video game to the arcades. Which is why when looking back at Batman Forever.... You notice the moves are very similar to Mortal Kombat. The "kombat" controls on Batman are sticky. Batman and Robin move like bricks being pushed by thousands of ants. Then the video game, like mentioned before, thinks you should know before you even turned on the power how to do 75% of the moves required to even enjoy the game. Sorry Acclaim; sorry I didn't get my degree in Assumption and Inaptitude. But that's exactly how the game operates. When it comes right down to it. Mortal Kombat doesn't care if you know or not know any special moves. It's a button masher at heart. Batman Forever, is a brawler/railer mock up which pretends to be something you would enjoy. Then unknown to you, it pulls down its pants and slaps you in the face with its dick every time you don't know what the fuck you're supposed to do.

Well.... I hope you enjoyed the travel of reminiscing with me and the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Ya'know, when Nintendo was an Entertainment System. Now, I'm off to draft an impossible review of the Silent Hill series. Brace for shock.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Welcome to: Back to the Future

In the wake of the year 2015, it's already starting to get a little crazy. From the get go I got back from Christmas vacation and under little of three days I was off work again to start Lor and I moving to Washington State! (Heads up, we live in Virginia.) But first thing is first, we need to get married.

It was the Sunday before our wedding, the in-laws came down. It was great to spend the whole week with one another. They mainly stayed on base in the cottages available. Lor and I stayed in another cottage near by after the wedding. The whole thing was amazing. The space we chose was worth it. It was practically intimate enough for Lor and I to enjoy our wedding and our friends and family too. The food was amazing. Photos were taken before during and after the wedding. It's funny to say the wedding and party was only five hours long. For Lor and I it was nearly 7-8 hours in the making. From getting prepped and ready for the ceremony, to the vows and then party-super party.
Officially I'm off the market ladies! Married life hasn't been any different from single life. I find the cliches really funny. Neither of them seem to be real. Or, I'm delusional because we're still in the "Just Married" phase of life. However, that's not really fair. Personally, we got married a month prior to our actual wedding day. Which was not personally what I wanted either, but had to be done. Mainly because of the paper work and how much easier it would all be before the actual wedding went down.
Needless to say, the wedding was as stressful as we all made it to be. Another highlight I totally forgot was the Wednesday prior too Lor's family, friends and I had seen "The Phantom of the Opera." What an amazing show to see! I loved it. Even the Bassoon player did a musical "flub" which was supposed to happen in one of the songs. You should note the Phantom makes a jab at the particular instrument in a letter.
The final bonus to the wedding was finally being able to see my family. Larry & Linda came into town on their anniversary. Our wedding day was the next day. Personally, it was really tough to see Larry tear up. It was like watching my own dad tear up before I get hitched. However, Larry & Linda both filled the family shoes immediately when my dad passed away and have never looked back. I'm really blessed to have them in my life. I LOVE THEM! Next is there daughter Mel. Whom we've been best friends since High School. We personally made a pact to marry one another if both of us were single and 30. Seeing as how I beat her to the punch on this one. It was great to see Mel and catch up on life. A lot had to be covered over nearly seven years.
Finally, it was really sweet to see Zoe and her son. Both of them couldn't really make it out here unless the combined efforts of my family helped out. It was a real blessing to have at least SOMEONE from the family attend. I'll go on record to fill this next clause (or set of clauses) in with an addendum. I know other siblings couldn't come because of either personal or financial reasons which are neither their faults or concern. I figure their hearts were in the right place.

Another thing which was a mild debacle was the new addition to the family. Lor and I are now the proud parents of a four month old English Bulldog. The whole thing starts off with Lor wanting to have a puppy. Personally I hear the word 'puppy' and eternal nightmares of a dog barking at night for weeks on end start popping in my head. Also, the constant runs to make the dog pee outside because potty training can be a bitch. However, the first thing was to find an English Bulldog breeder. Well, like usual with what I call "Research and Development." Lor (my usual candidate for R&D team) looked up pricing and the nearest breeders near us. The worst thing to EVER do is try to contact a breeder and it's only through text message. A huge red flag when dealing with a breeder is to at least have a voice behind the text messages. What we learned the hard way was texting a breeder and getting sucked into driving out to Maryland to find an abandoned house in a beautiful neighborhood. Only to spend 2 hours waiting on a breeder who never showed and when it came to us "meeting," they never showed. I was personally mad because I was the one driving all day. It took four hours nearly five to drive to Maryland. On the way back it was faster. However, the point stands. That night Lor searched again for anyone with a dog. After a couple five phone calls we found a breeder by the name of Lynn Smith whom was local. By local I mean, in state and reputable through the BCA (Bulldog Club of America). When we made our visit the next day we found four little English Bulldogs.
Lord Vader
Like usual I did the talking and interview. Lor was hunting and picking out the dog most interested in us and NOT a trouble maker. I'll go on record to say we pre-determined the name of our dog. However, after meeting Mrs. Smith we realized she had nick-named them too. Ours went by the name of Clark because of his Superman like Brindle colouring. We went through the dogs lineage to find his fathers were winners of many different shows. Everything for us seemed like it was going to be a long shot to sell Mrs. Smith what we wanted to name our dog till we found on the lineage "Mr. Kinky." That's when Lor and I knew naming our English Bulldog "Lord Vader" would be a seller.
We've had Lord Vader for little over a month now. The breeder is really nice and loves to hear how he's doing. Which is great. We've sent her photos of his development and how he looks when we're playing at home or on the beach. Lord Vader has been a real blessing to our family. He's taken a liking to me though. Apparently I'm the Alpha-Male around these parts and I'll be damned if I loose that title. I know he'll grow up and try me, but I won't let it!



I drove across America again. I know, I know.... What was I thinking!? But seriously, Lor hasn't been cross country and I wanted to share the experience. And the Navy is paying me for the move if I show paper work on the travel. Hotel stays, food, and gas... ya'know the usual.
Well it was a Saturday morning when Lor and I packed up and began trucking our way to Nashville, Tennessee. We're going the southern route. Lucky we did too! A storm system rolled through halfway which would have fucked us over.
Anyway, Tennessee is a mountainous state. Nashville was beautiful to see and drive through and stay for the night. Our first night was in a Red Roof Inn. Let's just say, the exterior was 'nice.' We were in a small room in consideration to bed size (King) and a tiny bathroom. Water pressure was limited. However, the only bonus was the Panera Bread right next door. I'll say for observational reasons seeing a collage couple dress up and walk out on a nice date seemed really sweet. Then the next morning I see the girl in the main office with eye liner running and all kinds of emotional over what happened last night. Talk about calling it out. You can't wear a skimpy dress and not expect him to make a douche bag advance.
Arkansas began the open ranges of prairies as far as the eye could see. There was a little Mississippi River bayou action going on. However, only for a moment. Later on when we made it to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Lor and I stayed with our family. Dinner was amazing and I got to show Lor where I grew up. The neighborhood I lived in. The stories to tell, my graduating High School, including where my father worked. All rolled up into one evening with Braum's Ice Cream.
The next day was to Flagstaff, Arizona. Between the travel, I showed Lor the Cow "Beef Processing Factory" which is infamous to me. Nearly six years ago I saw a cow running down the median. Then a herd of cows. Finally, I see a bunch of cows jumping over a wire fence and I realized where the herd was coming from. I also thought to myself, "Someone should call those cows in." That was till I ran by the processing factory. This is when I turned really Liberal and yelled out the window, "Run Free Cows! Run Free!" Well, it seems like six years later you can still see a shit load of cows in a cooped up pin.
I would like to say New Mexico needs to go back to where it came from. There's a serious issue with the state when you can't listen to Pop radio on I-40. As soon as we made it in state Lor and I had two options of radio to listen to. NPR Talk radio and one... ONE Spanish music channel. I'm not saying Spanish music sucks.... I'm not saying NPR sucks.... What I'm saying is, given the situation.... A little Maroon 5 goes a long way. Just saying. OH! I would also like to tell everyone how much there is literally NOTHING in New Mexico to save it's life. Seriously, I pulled over at a gas station ran by an old guy with five buck heads mounted on the wall. I found a house in the middle of nowhere and a couple of questions popped in my head.
1. Where do these people get there food from?
2. Do they have internet?
3. Where is there local hospital/doctor?
4. What if they have a kid!?
5. Where do these people work?
Neither of these questions were answered. Obviously, because the only people in the cab of the truck was Lor and Lord Vader. Neither of them had the answer either.
Needless to say, when Flagstaff, Arizona is my goal to make... It seemed like when driving through New Mexico, it was a challenge enough to just drive straight. Sometimes you need that curve in the road.
Arizona.... Like I've said before, Nothing exciting till Flagstaff. The mountains are beautiful and personally I wanted to again make this the best trip we could. So, Lor and I detoured to the Grand Canyons. A two hour detour might I add. Though the view of seeing hundreds of feet below was beautiful and breath taking with a slight case of vertigo. The canyon itself was engulfed by fog/cloud. We could hardly see to the other side! But none the less a beautiful sight to see while we tried to make our way to Sacramento, California.
California is California. However, one story I will tell is how I got myself out of a 22 MPH over speed limit ticket. Here I am driving on I-5 north bound and trying to drive up again, another fucking hill. My truck is pushing to make it up the hill (We're towing a car behind too). Well, imagine your truck going from 55 MPH to 40 sometimes 30 MPH just to go up a hill. Sometimes you just want to fly up it. I want to go on record to say I did the speed limit a majority of the time and went real easy on the down hill slopes. However, I just got over this one hill and all of a sudden (or, like normal) my speedometer is saying I'm going 80 MPH. I'm not going 80 MPH.... There's no way. Maybe my truck is thinking I'm going that fast... But I'm still pacing the sami truck right next to me. So, that couldn't be true.... Anyway... A cop car pulls out and then pulls me over. Of course I explained and he said, "Your speed limit is 55 MPH. I got you doing 77 MPH. That's reckless driving, which is also a misdemeanor. Also viewed as a drinking and driving in the state of California."
My world stopped real fast on a few words.... Reckless driving is to Misdemeanor, same as Drinking and Driving..... What the fuck!? That escalated quickly. Anyway, Lor is holding Lord Vader and like magic the dog gave the police officer the puppy eyes. I know for a fact with my cop run ins I always walk out with a ticket or warning. I will hand it off to my dog. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have gotten away with a warning and let go. Seriously..... I saw it go south so bad, but I really think my wife and the dog pulled it off. As soon as we got on the road again. And I did 55 MPH through the whole state of California. The first thing Lor says to me is, "You are a lucky son of a bitch." Yes, I sure am.
We made it to Oregon and spent a day in an old town I use to live in. Coos Bay. Better known as Snooze Bay on this blog. Mainly because not a lot ever really happens in the town. It's a small town and I remember my father telling me to never get sucked into it. Fair enough. I probably would be where I am now without being out of the town too. Either way, my Aunt Kelly knew I was coming into town and it was a real surprise to everyone in my family who found out. We had dinner twice at a restaurant named Little Italy. What an amazing place to dine. It's in Coos Bay's business district and is number one on the city's dinner list. For good reason too. The owner, Max, is a really nice, welcoming, warm guy whom made me feel well at home. The atmosphere of the restaurant is perfect. It's contemporary with a hint of classic all to its own. The wines were perfect for the food. The appetizers and vegetarian foods are perfect. Which is why Lor and I went twice! If you (the reader) ever went through Oregon. Little Italy is a must! Hands down.
For the most part though I got to reconnect with my mom. Which I'll go on record to say was different. I haven't had a "moment" with her in a VERY long time. 13 years specifically. So where else did we start off but in the past. At least a lot of what we talked about was, "Remember going to this park, and the trail?" She would ask. I replied in remembrance and collaborated/elaborated on the details.... Which was really the bed rock of all the things my mom and I talked about.
I can't speak for Lor, however, I think it was great for her to finally met my mom. We never brought up things which would be "touchy." I feel like that's how it's going to have to be though. There were moments when we stepped on me being 13 and leaving. But then we went straight back to childhood stories. Pre-Teen stories were good conversation starters were as everything in my teen years were hard to talk about, or at least get past.
Lord Vader enjoyed his time at the beach for the first time. At first he was on a leash. Then after a while of getting use to salt water and the ocean surf I let him loose. He was the only dog and we were the only ones on the beach. The dog was in a pig-pen. He had so much fun. If we have the time and chance to explore I would love to have him run around some more. The only downfall is how dirty he gets.

Needless to say, we ran through Oregon and Washington pretty well. Then we made it to our rental office for the town house we're waiting on getting into as we speak. The whole thing starts off with the fact the agent didn't know we were coming. Hold the phone. We called two weeks ago. We told them we were coming. Then to find out there's no communication.... What nonsense! Well, with the Navy moving people wanting to drop off we don't want to reschedule because who know when that'll be. Well, we got at lest the garage door for some of our stuff to be in. The Navy moving guy said he would deliver on Wednesday which seems to work out just fine for us. I just hope the house is ready for us tomorrow and I hope our stuff arrives tomorrow too.