During Thanksgiving I gave my pet toad Bill a bunch of Crickets and Meal-worms. I thought it would have been nice to fatten him up a little. I left for dinner at a friends house and coming back home all the toad food was gone. My toad is a fat ass! Granted I ate 3 servings of Thanksgiving food. However, this little guy not even the size of my thumb ate 4 Crickets and 4 Meal-worms! What a fat ass.
The other week I had gotten a phone call from a dental nurse needing my time away from work to talk about a wisdom tooth which has been giving me some trouble lately. Well, I drove to the hospital and after a five minute wait in the lobby. I was called in to the examination room.
Quick question, does anyone ever get self conscious about dentist? No joke, I tripped a little because it's like every time I go they find SOMETHING wrong with me. For example, a wisdom tooth. Anyway, I felt self conscious because I had three cups of coffee, an Italian sub and sun chips. I don't know why, for a moment I thought the guy was able to see trace amounts of whatever was stuck between my teeth. Let alone, I'm sure this guy could tell I have a sweet tooth for double-double coffees. Ya'know? I'm sure nine month old pregnant women knows what this is like. You try to shave your ankles however the baby bump just gets in the way. Then when you go to the doctors you're really hoping they notice you shaved the majority of your legs... Except the trace amount around the ankles.
Well, this next Wednesday I have the surgery to get one of my two wisdom teeth pulled. Why only one you may ask. Apparently the other is being used as a molar. The dentist back when I had braces pulled like three teeth. Which allowed him to utilize the wisdom tooth. Pretty cool shit. Either way, the doctors at the hospital don't get it. Every time I tell them, they bust out the x-ray and start counting teeth. Starting from the right and counting to the hanging wisdom tooth. At which point the doc will stop, recount three more times, then come back to me and say,
"Well I guess you're right."
No. Really!? I think I would know more about my mouth than the next person. Stupid mother fuckers. Which is why I detest going to the hospital/dentist. I don't get piss off at the doc. I mean, I don't expect him to know everything. Just the irritation of having to explain my situation to every new doctor who opens my file gets annoying.
The day after Thanksgiving on the west coast is usually a chill kind of day. People are still getting over the Turkey High they just ingested. The tempo of life is usually about 120 beats per minute (BPM). The day following Thanksgiving, it's a drastic drop of 80 BPM. I just stopped to realize something. Wouldn't it be great if the weather man could not only tell you what today, tomorrow and the next days weather is. He could also tell you at what speed your life should be going at. Example:
"Today is a slight chance or ran. In the morning be cautious of that morning fog. Around the afternoon the sun should show up a little bit. Finally the storm system from the south will come in; the rest of the week will be rain and overcast. For the most part people, start off your day at 100 BPM. Maybe bring it up to 120 BPM. Then finally slow down for the rest of the week and stay at around 75 BPM." Wouldn't it be nice for someone to be paid to tell you how the tempo of life could/should go!?
John and I went to Target because my usual "Day after Thanksgiving" tradition is to take all the left overs from Thanksgiving and make it into a Chicken Pot Pie. It was great till I found out they ran out pie shells! We went further down the street to a store called Kroger's. Walked in and I tried to find pie shells but I guess they still hadn't recouped from the early morning Black Friday shenanigans. I was walking up and down the isle trying to find the pie shells. Then I ran into an associate woman. I asked her if she could help me. Instead she gave me a good cooking tip. Apparently I can use Pillsbury Grand Biscuits as a topping shell for pies. I thanked her, and while talking to her she asked me what I was up to. I told her between three guys, I'm the only one who knows how to cook. She starts to laugh, I explained I cook dinner. While John makes breakfast and Diddly is just Diddly. The lady starts to laugh. I continued saying, "Look, I'm ever mother in-laws dream son. I cook, clean and have a career." The lady is still laughing and said, "I have a daughter named Ashley. She needs a man like you." I was kinda shocked this lady was pimping out her daughter. But I'm not one to just boast and not show face. I straight up gave the woman my phone number and told her to call me. Balls in her court now... Granted it's been a day now and no phone call. One could have only hoped. However, the Chicken Pot Pie turned out well. Two pies later and everything turned out. Not getting hooked up with a chick who sounds hot. None the less, an all around good day.
The other week I had gotten a phone call from a dental nurse needing my time away from work to talk about a wisdom tooth which has been giving me some trouble lately. Well, I drove to the hospital and after a five minute wait in the lobby. I was called in to the examination room.
Quick question, does anyone ever get self conscious about dentist? No joke, I tripped a little because it's like every time I go they find SOMETHING wrong with me. For example, a wisdom tooth. Anyway, I felt self conscious because I had three cups of coffee, an Italian sub and sun chips. I don't know why, for a moment I thought the guy was able to see trace amounts of whatever was stuck between my teeth. Let alone, I'm sure this guy could tell I have a sweet tooth for double-double coffees. Ya'know? I'm sure nine month old pregnant women knows what this is like. You try to shave your ankles however the baby bump just gets in the way. Then when you go to the doctors you're really hoping they notice you shaved the majority of your legs... Except the trace amount around the ankles.
Well, this next Wednesday I have the surgery to get one of my two wisdom teeth pulled. Why only one you may ask. Apparently the other is being used as a molar. The dentist back when I had braces pulled like three teeth. Which allowed him to utilize the wisdom tooth. Pretty cool shit. Either way, the doctors at the hospital don't get it. Every time I tell them, they bust out the x-ray and start counting teeth. Starting from the right and counting to the hanging wisdom tooth. At which point the doc will stop, recount three more times, then come back to me and say,
"Well I guess you're right."
No. Really!? I think I would know more about my mouth than the next person. Stupid mother fuckers. Which is why I detest going to the hospital/dentist. I don't get piss off at the doc. I mean, I don't expect him to know everything. Just the irritation of having to explain my situation to every new doctor who opens my file gets annoying.
The day after Thanksgiving on the west coast is usually a chill kind of day. People are still getting over the Turkey High they just ingested. The tempo of life is usually about 120 beats per minute (BPM). The day following Thanksgiving, it's a drastic drop of 80 BPM. I just stopped to realize something. Wouldn't it be great if the weather man could not only tell you what today, tomorrow and the next days weather is. He could also tell you at what speed your life should be going at. Example:
"Today is a slight chance or ran. In the morning be cautious of that morning fog. Around the afternoon the sun should show up a little bit. Finally the storm system from the south will come in; the rest of the week will be rain and overcast. For the most part people, start off your day at 100 BPM. Maybe bring it up to 120 BPM. Then finally slow down for the rest of the week and stay at around 75 BPM." Wouldn't it be nice for someone to be paid to tell you how the tempo of life could/should go!?
John and I went to Target because my usual "Day after Thanksgiving" tradition is to take all the left overs from Thanksgiving and make it into a Chicken Pot Pie. It was great till I found out they ran out pie shells! We went further down the street to a store called Kroger's. Walked in and I tried to find pie shells but I guess they still hadn't recouped from the early morning Black Friday shenanigans. I was walking up and down the isle trying to find the pie shells. Then I ran into an associate woman. I asked her if she could help me. Instead she gave me a good cooking tip. Apparently I can use Pillsbury Grand Biscuits as a topping shell for pies. I thanked her, and while talking to her she asked me what I was up to. I told her between three guys, I'm the only one who knows how to cook. She starts to laugh, I explained I cook dinner. While John makes breakfast and Diddly is just Diddly. The lady starts to laugh. I continued saying, "Look, I'm ever mother in-laws dream son. I cook, clean and have a career." The lady is still laughing and said, "I have a daughter named Ashley. She needs a man like you." I was kinda shocked this lady was pimping out her daughter. But I'm not one to just boast and not show face. I straight up gave the woman my phone number and told her to call me. Balls in her court now... Granted it's been a day now and no phone call. One could have only hoped. However, the Chicken Pot Pie turned out well. Two pies later and everything turned out. Not getting hooked up with a chick who sounds hot. None the less, an all around good day.
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