Fallon, Nevada is a piece of shit area of the United States. It smells like horse shit. Topped off with a down and out city center with more casinos than churches. Has absolutely no culture here except "Bumpkin."
The water has a taste of salt in it. Probably more radiation than the toilet bowl at this point. And my all time favorite observation.
There's a trailer park literally one street away from the Super WalMart! You can bet on stars there's some Bumpkin will be shit faced and pissing right outside his trailer. For all the world to see. Right, because the bathroom isn't the first place to sit and think about taking a piss at. WalMart has a free one just to the left of the front doors.
Here's an observation. Everyone here in Fallon seems to either have No fashion sense. Or, Dickies is all they seem to know. If so, then whatever.... I'm showing up in cloths from France, Dubai, and Virginia. These people are looking at me like I'm the weird one. One woman asked where I found a shirt she really thought looked nice. I said, Warehouse and she didn't get Warehouse is a store in a mall. But then again, there are no malls in Fallon.
Here's how I level off how shitty a town can get. When I preemptively call ahead of company business time and phone "music shops" Google says are in Fallon. And come to find out there are no Music Stores. Then you know it's a shit hole. My favorite is when I made a phone call and asked a guy about Violin strings. He said, "I sell Gee-tars. But I have a friend who knows a guy who plays the fiddle." Which I replied with a, "Thank you for your help."
Finally, when "Pigs in Space" is the ONLY reason to come to Fallon. Look, I like to go to the Gentleman's Club. I didn't this time because I'm in a committed relationship and bad boy habits have to die. I'd rather spend $200 on my girl than on some trick. (Oh, I had the explain to Diddly what a Trick is!) For those who don't know, "Pigs in Space" isn't the segment in The Muppet Show where Ms. Piggy is in Space with other pigs. Close, but now cigar. Pigs in Space is about fat women whom make a living off of stripping and providing men with a "good night outside of the club." What a "good night" in tells, I don't know... Couldn't for the life of me figure it out because there's nothing in Fallon. A fucking Jack in the Crack is more interesting than Fallon.
As for teaching Diddly what a Trick is. Apparently he's been going around work calling people a Trick. It wasn't till about three days in I noticed and asked him if he knew what the definition of a Trick is. He didn't reply and scapegoated with claiming I'm a Trick. Which is partly true if I was to cast myself back to my good old days at 21 years old. However, I've grown since then and I'm not, NOT under ANY circumstances doing THAT again. Maybe for another Blog post about Paula D. Anyway, I corrected him with explaining a Trick is a woman/man whom is fucking someone who is in a relationship. Needless to say, he said I'm a Trick and Diddlied his way through work like usual.
Last but not least, the reason why this blog is titled "Fallon Shuffle" is because Jets leak a lot of fluids. Oil, Gass, Hydro, and many other liquids. The "Fallon Shuffle" is when a jet moves and you push a red wagon full of kitty litter. Using shovels to spread, and then digging ones pair of boots into the ground and working the kitty litter into the oil/gas/hydro spots on the ground. Afterwords, you sweep up the areas and dispose of it from there into a safe containment. The term "Fallon Shuffle" comes form the look of people 'shuffling' when working on the kitty litter.
DISCLAIMER!
This is MY work of auto-biographical fiction. Names (except for yours), characters (including you), places and incidents either are products of MY imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events (like this one) or locales and persons, living or six feet under, is entirely coincidental. AKA, don't sue me… I have nothing.
The water has a taste of salt in it. Probably more radiation than the toilet bowl at this point. And my all time favorite observation.
There's a trailer park literally one street away from the Super WalMart! You can bet on stars there's some Bumpkin will be shit faced and pissing right outside his trailer. For all the world to see. Right, because the bathroom isn't the first place to sit and think about taking a piss at. WalMart has a free one just to the left of the front doors.
Here's an observation. Everyone here in Fallon seems to either have No fashion sense. Or, Dickies is all they seem to know. If so, then whatever.... I'm showing up in cloths from France, Dubai, and Virginia. These people are looking at me like I'm the weird one. One woman asked where I found a shirt she really thought looked nice. I said, Warehouse and she didn't get Warehouse is a store in a mall. But then again, there are no malls in Fallon.
Here's how I level off how shitty a town can get. When I preemptively call ahead of company business time and phone "music shops" Google says are in Fallon. And come to find out there are no Music Stores. Then you know it's a shit hole. My favorite is when I made a phone call and asked a guy about Violin strings. He said, "I sell Gee-tars. But I have a friend who knows a guy who plays the fiddle." Which I replied with a, "Thank you for your help."
Finally, when "Pigs in Space" is the ONLY reason to come to Fallon. Look, I like to go to the Gentleman's Club. I didn't this time because I'm in a committed relationship and bad boy habits have to die. I'd rather spend $200 on my girl than on some trick. (Oh, I had the explain to Diddly what a Trick is!) For those who don't know, "Pigs in Space" isn't the segment in The Muppet Show where Ms. Piggy is in Space with other pigs. Close, but now cigar. Pigs in Space is about fat women whom make a living off of stripping and providing men with a "good night outside of the club." What a "good night" in tells, I don't know... Couldn't for the life of me figure it out because there's nothing in Fallon. A fucking Jack in the Crack is more interesting than Fallon.
As for teaching Diddly what a Trick is. Apparently he's been going around work calling people a Trick. It wasn't till about three days in I noticed and asked him if he knew what the definition of a Trick is. He didn't reply and scapegoated with claiming I'm a Trick. Which is partly true if I was to cast myself back to my good old days at 21 years old. However, I've grown since then and I'm not, NOT under ANY circumstances doing THAT again. Maybe for another Blog post about Paula D. Anyway, I corrected him with explaining a Trick is a woman/man whom is fucking someone who is in a relationship. Needless to say, he said I'm a Trick and Diddlied his way through work like usual.
Last but not least, the reason why this blog is titled "Fallon Shuffle" is because Jets leak a lot of fluids. Oil, Gass, Hydro, and many other liquids. The "Fallon Shuffle" is when a jet moves and you push a red wagon full of kitty litter. Using shovels to spread, and then digging ones pair of boots into the ground and working the kitty litter into the oil/gas/hydro spots on the ground. Afterwords, you sweep up the areas and dispose of it from there into a safe containment. The term "Fallon Shuffle" comes form the look of people 'shuffling' when working on the kitty litter.
DISCLAIMER!
This is MY work of auto-biographical fiction. Names (except for yours), characters (including you), places and incidents either are products of MY imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events (like this one) or locales and persons, living or six feet under, is entirely coincidental. AKA, don't sue me… I have nothing.
Oh man you just hit me w memories hard.
ReplyDeleteAmanda Dizmang
Navy vet VFC12. AM2