8. My brother, Zach in the past year has held down a job as a Certified Health Assistant. He dropped that job and went into Welding, because it's a trade. Then he couldn't pay for classes. So, then he called me and said, "I want to be a fire fighter." I said, "Good luck." It didn't pave through as well as we all hoped. Now I'm waiting for the call with him saying, "I want to be an Astronaut." Believe me, it's not off the table of possibilities.
7. Diddly told me a year ago, "You never know when you need a multi-tool." I replied with, "Yeah, when pigs fly." Well, I went to the store and he convinced me to buy a multi-tool. It's a small one. I walk up to the counter and asked the lady if I could buy a multi-tool because the products are protected by a plastic stopper on the shelf. She said, "Oh, you mean something from the Gerber isle?" I told her, "I didn't say anything about baby food." Little did I know Gerber isn't just baby food, but also a knife/ multi-tool company. Go figure....
6. Even when working with the Government, 25 years later, I mention I'm born in a different country and I still have to prove with a born abroad certificate. Best part, the Admin people were like, "Can you prove you're an American Citizen?" I replied with, "Yeah, (You dumb bitch) I joined the NAVY. Back ground check, anybody?" Further pressing the situation, "Do you have your 'papers' on you?" Me: "Name one person who conveniently brought their birth certificate and born abroad as well on a business trip?" I promptly walked out of the room and situation. You honestly can't write that shit. And I'm now slightly offended by the word 'Papers.' Like some Gestapo just asked if I was legal. Fuck you and your "PAPERS."
5. I use to think I wanted a Wiki-page for my music project. Then I realized 90% of people on Wikipedia have done something slightly controversial. Which isn't really my thing. Thanks, but no thanks. Till I'm popular in life for some reason, this ship has sailed. I'm happy with just a website.
7. Diddly told me a year ago, "You never know when you need a multi-tool." I replied with, "Yeah, when pigs fly." Well, I went to the store and he convinced me to buy a multi-tool. It's a small one. I walk up to the counter and asked the lady if I could buy a multi-tool because the products are protected by a plastic stopper on the shelf. She said, "Oh, you mean something from the Gerber isle?" I told her, "I didn't say anything about baby food." Little did I know Gerber isn't just baby food, but also a knife/ multi-tool company. Go figure....
6. Even when working with the Government, 25 years later, I mention I'm born in a different country and I still have to prove with a born abroad certificate. Best part, the Admin people were like, "Can you prove you're an American Citizen?" I replied with, "Yeah, (You dumb bitch) I joined the NAVY. Back ground check, anybody?" Further pressing the situation, "Do you have your 'papers' on you?" Me: "Name one person who conveniently brought their birth certificate and born abroad as well on a business trip?" I promptly walked out of the room and situation. You honestly can't write that shit. And I'm now slightly offended by the word 'Papers.' Like some Gestapo just asked if I was legal. Fuck you and your "PAPERS."
5. I use to think I wanted a Wiki-page for my music project. Then I realized 90% of people on Wikipedia have done something slightly controversial. Which isn't really my thing. Thanks, but no thanks. Till I'm popular in life for some reason, this ship has sailed. I'm happy with just a website.
4. Well, this last week I logged onto uspto.com. I thought about trademarking PostOmnis and just securing my music projects name. Just to price check, come to did out the Government shutdown harkened on my interest. Yes, I'm implying the Government shutdown is fucking with my plans.
3. Even to this day, classic Halloween movies can scare me. Something about Freddy, Michael, and Jason still freaks me the fuck out. In total this year, I've jumped in my skin about four times. Subsequently laughing right after.
2. Not surprised when I hear a nine year old snuck on a plane and traveled nearly cross country. Reason being, in New York City I got on the wrong plane. I asked multiple flight attendance and till I landed in DC, they (the flight attendant) said to me "Yeah, you're on the wrong flight." Provided in not nine years old. But, what the fuck!?
1. I hate generic Keurig coffee makers. Ya'know the insert cup, water and press blue button. I feel like 5 cups in and I'm feeling the normal hit I usually get from a normal cup of coffee from a normal coffee maker. My sister's Keurig is Way better in comparison. But holly cow, what a piece of shit machine.
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