Last Wednesday I traveled to Key West on Company travel. My first day was terrible. Traveled 2 hours on flight, got to the office space provided for my stay. Our group unpacked and worked till 11:30pm to get to the hotel at 12:30am the latest. I then turned around and awoke at 3:45am for work the next morning. So, initially being in Key West sucked balls.
Okay, the thing I would like to say about Key West is; Duval St. has two sides. From the corner clock to the left is where all the bars are. To the right, is Gay, gay, and gay-er.... Up till the point you get to the Denny's.
Well, first thing was first. I went walking around finding cool stuff for Christmas. Diddly and I walked around for the most part and then went to see an escape artists escape from a straightjacket, 5 chains and 3 hand cuffs. Which not only was entertaining, but amazing to see. The bars are not as impressive, however, there is a little bit of history. I think the best place to start is when I went to Ernest Hemingway's home.
Apparently the guy's home is on the second tallest elevation of all Key West. 16 feet above sea water. These are the facts I'm working with. LOL! The guy owns 48 cats at his home. Have you ever heard of a little show on TV called Animal Hoarders? For a home that has 48 cats, it was very well kept. But here's how his home was set up. There was a hallway in the middle with a staircase on the right, to the left was a living room. Across the way was the dinning room with a simple fireplace. Behind was the kitchen. Up stairs was the master bedroom, bathroom and study. Guess what this guy has, two wrap around porches. One on the main floor and one on the second floor. However, like most artists I was really impressed by the studio Ernest used to write his books. But like a bad nightmare it hit me, the question we've been asking. "How the hell do they pay for the pet bills!?" Question mother fucking answered. At the end of the whole tour the guy told us about the book store. My personal favorite book being "The Old Man And The Sea." I went into the shop and looked at the "collectors items." The book I love being one of them was being sold for $80!!! Let's back up and repeat that shit, "The Old Man And The Sea" is being sold for 80 fucking dollars! Talk about highway fucking robbery. I got the idea being in the tour that Ernest was a funny guy. I didn't think he was going to be making a running pass joke on my wallet. So for fear of my wallet, I turned around and walked straight off the premises. All in all, Hemingway was a mild fail. Beautiful house. However, a fail.
Later on in the night I went to a couple of bars. The first being "Fat Tuesdays" which is a walk in open window bar. I literally walked in, and again like I did in Hemingway's home I walked right back out. Then I went to "The Bull" which has three floors to it. The first two are typical pub atmospheres. However, what happens on top is a basic nude bar. Body painted women dancing, serving liquor to a huge sausage fest. Old guys, young men, every tourist with a dick went to the third floor. While I'm hanging out with Rose along the strip of Duval St. I ran into an amazing gypsy artists by the name of Kenyatta Arrington. He is a rocker whom played with Jimmy Hendricks back in the day. Really cool gem to find in a small island. I got a demo of his work as well as a fair trade of giving him some of my own personal music too.
The second night was hanging out with Jaz at the corner pub outside of base. Here I met up with Mc, Cronix, and Diddly. The guys and I decided after 3 drinks we should take a walk to the strip club. So we ditched Jaz at the pub, later she would go to the local gay club "Aqua."
Here's what happened with the "Gentleman's Club." The guys and I picked our seating and instantly this chick named Emma comes walking up. She looked all of 20 years old. I don't play with new girls. So, I passed her off to Diddly whom literally had that chicks attention all night. Meanwhile, Mc bought me my first dance with this 40 year old woman who Jew'd me out of dance. Here's how this operation goes down, $20 is suppose to buy me one private dance for the duration of one song. This hoe gave me half a dance. But to be honest, I guess I learned a little something. I like cougars when they're interested in giving me attention. However, 40 year old tits in my face isn't my jive. Come on ladies be a little classy. Well, after getting Jew'd out of my first dance. Cronix and I met the girl who would literally entertain the rest of our night.
I don't remember her name, nor care, but I'll call her Amber. The only thing I can remember about Amber is she spoke bad Polish. Had CHINESE tattoos on her spine and was a fake blond. Well, I'm laying down the German while Cronix is speaking Spanish. So, really it was a competition of which language she liked, I guess.... At one point I asked her if she liked German Chocolate or Spanish Candy. She answered me with a free dance. Either way, I had like four solos with the girl. The next day after work I would run into Amber at "Sloppy Joes." I didn't expect to see her, but I never had a situation where I would meet a dancer from the other night. So, I said, "What's up!?" I bought her a drink and then went on my way. Diddly would run into Emma outside of the Gentleman's Club too.
So, get this... Ernest had helped the owner of the "Sloppy Joes" pub move down the block because the rent on the original establishment was too high. So, they moved it down a block and Ernest took a urinal troth back to his home and has since then used it to hold water for his 48 fucking cats.
I'm going to lay it out there for everyone... Key West is cool but only for about three to four days. After that, it's not the best place in the world. It's a huge tourist trap. At one point I didn't even want to be on the island. In fact, Virginia Beach (as boring as it is) is fucking better than Key West.
Okay, the thing I would like to say about Key West is; Duval St. has two sides. From the corner clock to the left is where all the bars are. To the right, is Gay, gay, and gay-er.... Up till the point you get to the Denny's.
Well, first thing was first. I went walking around finding cool stuff for Christmas. Diddly and I walked around for the most part and then went to see an escape artists escape from a straightjacket, 5 chains and 3 hand cuffs. Which not only was entertaining, but amazing to see. The bars are not as impressive, however, there is a little bit of history. I think the best place to start is when I went to Ernest Hemingway's home.
Apparently the guy's home is on the second tallest elevation of all Key West. 16 feet above sea water. These are the facts I'm working with. LOL! The guy owns 48 cats at his home. Have you ever heard of a little show on TV called Animal Hoarders? For a home that has 48 cats, it was very well kept. But here's how his home was set up. There was a hallway in the middle with a staircase on the right, to the left was a living room. Across the way was the dinning room with a simple fireplace. Behind was the kitchen. Up stairs was the master bedroom, bathroom and study. Guess what this guy has, two wrap around porches. One on the main floor and one on the second floor. However, like most artists I was really impressed by the studio Ernest used to write his books. But like a bad nightmare it hit me, the question we've been asking. "How the hell do they pay for the pet bills!?" Question mother fucking answered. At the end of the whole tour the guy told us about the book store. My personal favorite book being "The Old Man And The Sea." I went into the shop and looked at the "collectors items." The book I love being one of them was being sold for $80!!! Let's back up and repeat that shit, "The Old Man And The Sea" is being sold for 80 fucking dollars! Talk about highway fucking robbery. I got the idea being in the tour that Ernest was a funny guy. I didn't think he was going to be making a running pass joke on my wallet. So for fear of my wallet, I turned around and walked straight off the premises. All in all, Hemingway was a mild fail. Beautiful house. However, a fail.
Later on in the night I went to a couple of bars. The first being "Fat Tuesdays" which is a walk in open window bar. I literally walked in, and again like I did in Hemingway's home I walked right back out. Then I went to "The Bull" which has three floors to it. The first two are typical pub atmospheres. However, what happens on top is a basic nude bar. Body painted women dancing, serving liquor to a huge sausage fest. Old guys, young men, every tourist with a dick went to the third floor. While I'm hanging out with Rose along the strip of Duval St. I ran into an amazing gypsy artists by the name of Kenyatta Arrington. He is a rocker whom played with Jimmy Hendricks back in the day. Really cool gem to find in a small island. I got a demo of his work as well as a fair trade of giving him some of my own personal music too.
The second night was hanging out with Jaz at the corner pub outside of base. Here I met up with Mc, Cronix, and Diddly. The guys and I decided after 3 drinks we should take a walk to the strip club. So we ditched Jaz at the pub, later she would go to the local gay club "Aqua."
Here's what happened with the "Gentleman's Club." The guys and I picked our seating and instantly this chick named Emma comes walking up. She looked all of 20 years old. I don't play with new girls. So, I passed her off to Diddly whom literally had that chicks attention all night. Meanwhile, Mc bought me my first dance with this 40 year old woman who Jew'd me out of dance. Here's how this operation goes down, $20 is suppose to buy me one private dance for the duration of one song. This hoe gave me half a dance. But to be honest, I guess I learned a little something. I like cougars when they're interested in giving me attention. However, 40 year old tits in my face isn't my jive. Come on ladies be a little classy. Well, after getting Jew'd out of my first dance. Cronix and I met the girl who would literally entertain the rest of our night.
I don't remember her name, nor care, but I'll call her Amber. The only thing I can remember about Amber is she spoke bad Polish. Had CHINESE tattoos on her spine and was a fake blond. Well, I'm laying down the German while Cronix is speaking Spanish. So, really it was a competition of which language she liked, I guess.... At one point I asked her if she liked German Chocolate or Spanish Candy. She answered me with a free dance. Either way, I had like four solos with the girl. The next day after work I would run into Amber at "Sloppy Joes." I didn't expect to see her, but I never had a situation where I would meet a dancer from the other night. So, I said, "What's up!?" I bought her a drink and then went on my way. Diddly would run into Emma outside of the Gentleman's Club too.
So, get this... Ernest had helped the owner of the "Sloppy Joes" pub move down the block because the rent on the original establishment was too high. So, they moved it down a block and Ernest took a urinal troth back to his home and has since then used it to hold water for his 48 fucking cats.
I'm going to lay it out there for everyone... Key West is cool but only for about three to four days. After that, it's not the best place in the world. It's a huge tourist trap. At one point I didn't even want to be on the island. In fact, Virginia Beach (as boring as it is) is fucking better than Key West.
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