My Strange Addiction:
Who remembers the lady who ate dryer sheets!? I find it really funny she started off just smelling the sheets, to then putting the sheets in areas of the house which are typical aside from the dryer. Ya'know like the closet to freshen up the smell of the room. Stuff like that. Then, she started to eat them. Best two parts, one she cuts the 'chemical' (huge tip off to the unhealthy habit) with toilet paper. Two, she stuffed them into her bra like a fucking travel pack! This is when I knew this show was a gold mine of great things to talk about.
Next, would be the 22 cat lady whom guess what? Is allergic to the damn cats. It kinda reminded me of a time when Zoe and I combined our cats in a house hold and lived together for a while. In total it was not 22 cats. Oh, lord no... This lady on the show spent days and hours on end cleaning house after the cats. I felt the same way about six of them. Two of which were elder, one adult and three adolescent cats in total.
While I'm completely hashing on these two and many other strange addictions I kinda realized some of them weren't really life threatening and just fucking psychotic breaks. Which I began to ask myself, what is my strange addiction?
Come to find out I have a couple of strange addictions. The most prominent is the fact I get easily convinced into thinking to myself I can use an unknown obscure, world instrument into my music. Which I do use by the way. However, it's like dumping money into a hobby which I'm relatively good at and then just move on to another random instrument. Currently in a year I spent money on: a microKorg, Violin, Kalimba and Kinnor Harp. That's four fucking instruments in total. Neither of which I've ever played in my life. I'm a Pianist for good sakes. The only thing keeping me away from being on a show like My Strange Addiction is the fact neither of these things have been an hindrance to my life style, love life or personal health. Which doesn't make me crazy! Just throwing some underlining reasoning behind all of this.
I also have an addiction to coffee. Enough said.
I realized the other day while flipping between Duck Dynasty and Amish Maffia. I somehow missed a demographic in life.
Amish Mafia Midgets.... Provided there's only the one Midget in the whole show. However, nothing says, "Oh, this guy is hard core" like an Amish Mafia Midget swinging a bat in an underground cellar which has cow milk because someone was doing dirty business under the table.
Has anyone heard of a porno which ended in a tragedy? I'm sitting here, thinking while I'm watching "After Porn Ends." Apparently there's a lot of things people can do after the porn industry ends. I think it's facinating there's porn stars who are now bounty hunters, counselor, and christian activist. There's a porn star whom somehow made the leap to reality TV. There's one chick who finally had to "study" and get her shit together for a job in the reality business and still suck at it (no pun intended). However, what I'd wonder most is probably what these people put on their resume? And it's not just the girls, its apparently (no pun intended) hard for the gentlemen too. Some happen to have become golfers. Apparently there's a niche for these things...
Oddities - Tell me you haven't seen Oddities!? Provided I've always been told by my friends Jamie, Shay, and Ian I'm quite odd and unusual. But I don't think these guys have heard of Oddities. Lets take a look here... It's a show about two business owners whom buy strange shit and then sell them for outrageous amounts of money. Like a 'Sss-Trait Jacket," said from Edgar. A playwright whom got strangely obsessed with a 'Sss-Trait Jacket.' Which he wanted to use in a 'play' he was writing and or producing. Whatever it is he was up to. The strangest episode (and they are all strange) is when a guy walks in with a mummified hand. He's of course trying to pawn the hand off to the Oddity people and I thought to myself, "Doesn't this go against all things about Mummies?" Like, isn't there a kind of curse about taking body parts of a mummy, holing on to the mummy, and finally pawning the mummy hand!? I believe I've seen the classic (non-Brandon Fraser) mummy movies to know you just stay the fuck away from dead people! Same rules apply to Zombies. But the point here, they take the mummy hand and have it examined by a professional. Whom not only just openly touches the hand and smells the 'oils' and 'rasen.' Then if this didn't make you freak out he implies there is a person whom tastes mummified parts. Get this, for authenticity reasons... I want to know who the fuck thought, 'We can tell if it's a real mummified body part if we taste it.
Aside from the above brain droppings which have pondered and probably resolved in my mind and felt needed to share with you. Here's some revelation for you. Yes, (hand in the air) this doesn't mean, "How." It means strike me dead if I make this up. I did a little Facebook surfing. Ya'know hunt through mutual friends and see what people have been up to. Apparently, when stumbling on my ex-fiance she apparently got married. Yes, married. And not to the guy she cheated on me with. Oh, no... And yes, I did hunt his ass down too. Both of them are losers and I feel like exploiting it. Here we go!
Okay, so she married a dude whom was in the Navy. Apparently and I quote "lost his shit" and is now going to college to master his skill in anime drawing. Provided, I've seen a couple of websites with his work. Pretty cool shit. However, I gotta say, when you call your girlfriend, fiance, wife a 'my little pony.' I gotta question a couple of things. I don't really know where to start but possibly, "Are you okay in the head?" I mean, I believe it to be the safest sentence to ask if he lost his shit for real without really saying it. Ya'know??? Though, he claims to be in the Navy... What I'm fascinated by is the idea he doesn't mention what he did and where he's been. Normal people brag that shit out. Oh, back to the ex-fiance. Well, she still to my observation doesn't do shit!? I know, still to this day probably has a shit job and has a shit situation too. Now, I saw all of two wedding photos and said to myself, 'I can't be a total douche bag and say she looks awful in that thing.' However, I also can't say it was a banging dress. Hmm.... I see what little ambiance provided to her wedding and said to myself, 'It could have been me; and thank God it's not!' Holly crap, I couldn't be caught with craptastic photos clearly not professional and obviously from the family.
Which segues me to my last brain drop of not wanting to go to my 10 year class reunion. Here's why, I don't believe for a minute in ten years people have their shit together. In 20, maybe a different story. The problem I see with this is the short time frame of 10 years to get 'your life' in order to brag about it to everyone whom made fun of you from 15-18 years old. And to see how all the people you thought were cool are clearly not, and the three people you actually stayed in touch with on Facebook are the only real friends. Punctuated by the clever sometimes seamlessly ironic notion all the jocks and preps were actually just fucked up snobby kids whom came down from the sugar high and are actually real people. You'll probably find there's some people whom are no longer with us anymore. You'll also be more than glad to find out the Valedictorian didn't really succeed in life, as much as we all thought he or she would have. Finally, all the baby momma and daddies whom couldn't have gotten each other knocked up soon enough. Provided I'm the ripe age of 25 and NOT pregnant however, I know people whom are my age and on their third child. Yeah, scary thought for me too. I see these people with kids and think to myself, 'Can I do this? Could I do this? and worst yet... Everything in my life goes on halt till mini-me is out of the house and off to college, FUCK!' Aside from all these question and ponders which quagmire in the depths of my psyche I stop and realize... I don't have to worry about kids, or weather or not people whom I went to school with are more successful than I. I don't care about them and they certainly don't care for me. It's not like Google isn't available. To be honest, when it comes right down to the final straw... No one gets a kick of going back to their roots and reminiscing, provided some good memories do floodgate. The point here is, the memories which are most relevant are the now. I spent sometime in Coos Bay, Or two years ago. Same people in the same town doing the same thing... Nothing progressed except for the fact I saw a couple of girls on the poles which I didn't know would end up there. However, the point is, everything stays the same and rarity changes it all. To them I would be considered a radical, and to the normal people of the world I'm just strange. The more I think about it, the less I'm enthused by the idea of holding on to people to be my friend. If it is, than it is... If not, then fuck it...
Brain Droppings....
Who remembers the lady who ate dryer sheets!? I find it really funny she started off just smelling the sheets, to then putting the sheets in areas of the house which are typical aside from the dryer. Ya'know like the closet to freshen up the smell of the room. Stuff like that. Then, she started to eat them. Best two parts, one she cuts the 'chemical' (huge tip off to the unhealthy habit) with toilet paper. Two, she stuffed them into her bra like a fucking travel pack! This is when I knew this show was a gold mine of great things to talk about.
Next, would be the 22 cat lady whom guess what? Is allergic to the damn cats. It kinda reminded me of a time when Zoe and I combined our cats in a house hold and lived together for a while. In total it was not 22 cats. Oh, lord no... This lady on the show spent days and hours on end cleaning house after the cats. I felt the same way about six of them. Two of which were elder, one adult and three adolescent cats in total.
While I'm completely hashing on these two and many other strange addictions I kinda realized some of them weren't really life threatening and just fucking psychotic breaks. Which I began to ask myself, what is my strange addiction?
Come to find out I have a couple of strange addictions. The most prominent is the fact I get easily convinced into thinking to myself I can use an unknown obscure, world instrument into my music. Which I do use by the way. However, it's like dumping money into a hobby which I'm relatively good at and then just move on to another random instrument. Currently in a year I spent money on: a microKorg, Violin, Kalimba and Kinnor Harp. That's four fucking instruments in total. Neither of which I've ever played in my life. I'm a Pianist for good sakes. The only thing keeping me away from being on a show like My Strange Addiction is the fact neither of these things have been an hindrance to my life style, love life or personal health. Which doesn't make me crazy! Just throwing some underlining reasoning behind all of this.
I also have an addiction to coffee. Enough said.
I realized the other day while flipping between Duck Dynasty and Amish Maffia. I somehow missed a demographic in life.
Amish Mafia Midgets.... Provided there's only the one Midget in the whole show. However, nothing says, "Oh, this guy is hard core" like an Amish Mafia Midget swinging a bat in an underground cellar which has cow milk because someone was doing dirty business under the table.
Has anyone heard of a porno which ended in a tragedy? I'm sitting here, thinking while I'm watching "After Porn Ends." Apparently there's a lot of things people can do after the porn industry ends. I think it's facinating there's porn stars who are now bounty hunters, counselor, and christian activist. There's a porn star whom somehow made the leap to reality TV. There's one chick who finally had to "study" and get her shit together for a job in the reality business and still suck at it (no pun intended). However, what I'd wonder most is probably what these people put on their resume? And it's not just the girls, its apparently (no pun intended) hard for the gentlemen too. Some happen to have become golfers. Apparently there's a niche for these things...
Oddities - Tell me you haven't seen Oddities!? Provided I've always been told by my friends Jamie, Shay, and Ian I'm quite odd and unusual. But I don't think these guys have heard of Oddities. Lets take a look here... It's a show about two business owners whom buy strange shit and then sell them for outrageous amounts of money. Like a 'Sss-Trait Jacket," said from Edgar. A playwright whom got strangely obsessed with a 'Sss-Trait Jacket.' Which he wanted to use in a 'play' he was writing and or producing. Whatever it is he was up to. The strangest episode (and they are all strange) is when a guy walks in with a mummified hand. He's of course trying to pawn the hand off to the Oddity people and I thought to myself, "Doesn't this go against all things about Mummies?" Like, isn't there a kind of curse about taking body parts of a mummy, holing on to the mummy, and finally pawning the mummy hand!? I believe I've seen the classic (non-Brandon Fraser) mummy movies to know you just stay the fuck away from dead people! Same rules apply to Zombies. But the point here, they take the mummy hand and have it examined by a professional. Whom not only just openly touches the hand and smells the 'oils' and 'rasen.' Then if this didn't make you freak out he implies there is a person whom tastes mummified parts. Get this, for authenticity reasons... I want to know who the fuck thought, 'We can tell if it's a real mummified body part if we taste it.
Aside from the above brain droppings which have pondered and probably resolved in my mind and felt needed to share with you. Here's some revelation for you. Yes, (hand in the air) this doesn't mean, "How." It means strike me dead if I make this up. I did a little Facebook surfing. Ya'know hunt through mutual friends and see what people have been up to. Apparently, when stumbling on my ex-fiance she apparently got married. Yes, married. And not to the guy she cheated on me with. Oh, no... And yes, I did hunt his ass down too. Both of them are losers and I feel like exploiting it. Here we go!
Okay, so she married a dude whom was in the Navy. Apparently and I quote "lost his shit" and is now going to college to master his skill in anime drawing. Provided, I've seen a couple of websites with his work. Pretty cool shit. However, I gotta say, when you call your girlfriend, fiance, wife a 'my little pony.' I gotta question a couple of things. I don't really know where to start but possibly, "Are you okay in the head?" I mean, I believe it to be the safest sentence to ask if he lost his shit for real without really saying it. Ya'know??? Though, he claims to be in the Navy... What I'm fascinated by is the idea he doesn't mention what he did and where he's been. Normal people brag that shit out. Oh, back to the ex-fiance. Well, she still to my observation doesn't do shit!? I know, still to this day probably has a shit job and has a shit situation too. Now, I saw all of two wedding photos and said to myself, 'I can't be a total douche bag and say she looks awful in that thing.' However, I also can't say it was a banging dress. Hmm.... I see what little ambiance provided to her wedding and said to myself, 'It could have been me; and thank God it's not!' Holly crap, I couldn't be caught with craptastic photos clearly not professional and obviously from the family.
Which segues me to my last brain drop of not wanting to go to my 10 year class reunion. Here's why, I don't believe for a minute in ten years people have their shit together. In 20, maybe a different story. The problem I see with this is the short time frame of 10 years to get 'your life' in order to brag about it to everyone whom made fun of you from 15-18 years old. And to see how all the people you thought were cool are clearly not, and the three people you actually stayed in touch with on Facebook are the only real friends. Punctuated by the clever sometimes seamlessly ironic notion all the jocks and preps were actually just fucked up snobby kids whom came down from the sugar high and are actually real people. You'll probably find there's some people whom are no longer with us anymore. You'll also be more than glad to find out the Valedictorian didn't really succeed in life, as much as we all thought he or she would have. Finally, all the baby momma and daddies whom couldn't have gotten each other knocked up soon enough. Provided I'm the ripe age of 25 and NOT pregnant however, I know people whom are my age and on their third child. Yeah, scary thought for me too. I see these people with kids and think to myself, 'Can I do this? Could I do this? and worst yet... Everything in my life goes on halt till mini-me is out of the house and off to college, FUCK!' Aside from all these question and ponders which quagmire in the depths of my psyche I stop and realize... I don't have to worry about kids, or weather or not people whom I went to school with are more successful than I. I don't care about them and they certainly don't care for me. It's not like Google isn't available. To be honest, when it comes right down to the final straw... No one gets a kick of going back to their roots and reminiscing, provided some good memories do floodgate. The point here is, the memories which are most relevant are the now. I spent sometime in Coos Bay, Or two years ago. Same people in the same town doing the same thing... Nothing progressed except for the fact I saw a couple of girls on the poles which I didn't know would end up there. However, the point is, everything stays the same and rarity changes it all. To them I would be considered a radical, and to the normal people of the world I'm just strange. The more I think about it, the less I'm enthused by the idea of holding on to people to be my friend. If it is, than it is... If not, then fuck it...
Brain Droppings....
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