Sunday, September 8, 2013

Hello Bubble Bath

It has come to my attention this last week, maybe, just maybe my superiors at work have been over bearing on the employees recently because of two reasons:
1. They didn't have a chance to yell or ground their 16 year old for not taking out the trash. Which can open a Pandora box of many other reasons you would ground your teenager. Finally,
2. Someone didn't get laid last weekend. Which means they probably have to rub one out.
Now, this week on a Tuesday I roll into work usual time in the morning. My boss looks at me and said, "What are you doing here. If Ray is on day shift, that means...." I interrupted in disbelief and depression, "I'm on night check. Got it, be back later." I grab my keys and leave. Mind you, I came into work ready to kick ass and take names. Later in the day it dawned on me school kicked in awhile ago and it means my 3:00pm drive is probably extended to 3:30pm because of buses, and school zones. Next, I roll back into work. This supervisor waits till everyone in my department leaves. Leaving me the only person their, again just the solo guy. I haven't been doing my job long enough to know any better. But we have a dress code. Last I checked men are suppose to look professional. No 5 o'clock shadows. There's also a clause which says, men are to shave once a day. Well, I already did my one shave. I checked for stubble and went to work. This mother fucker had the gall to ask me if I shaved. (Let it be known now, I can't lie to save my life. I have tell and it sucks!) Anyway, I told him I shaved. He asked when; I answered, "in the morning." Which he indulged the irony of his stupid question with a stupid answer... Asking me what time. I told him, "In the morning." Apparently 12 o'clock in the afternoon when I wake up for evening shift is my 'morning.' Never mind I wake up at six anyway to shave my face and hit the sack again. The supervisor has a way of being very condescending as well. Which happens on a normal occurrence when he has ANY reason to talk to our department. Though I immediately contacted my boss about the incident he told me I looked fine. So, at least my boss knew.
The worst part behind the whole thing was how I felt self conscious after. Also, the rest of the week I had a panic attack when around the super. Being as how I attend shift meetings. The point here is, I feel like he's waiting for me to fuck up more so now than before when it was just simple shit.

To finish off my week though I had an interesting conversation with my girlfriends friend. I met her when Lor and I went on our first date. We've been pals sense. Anyway, I realized she hadn't been friends with my band PostOmnis and so I invited her to the band page. She messaged me with, "Why is your photo on the band page." I explained I compose the music for the band and it's really just a group of me and people whom just play. Then she had the light bulb moment of connecting the dots. And for a moment on my end it almost seemed like one of those moments on Hannah Montana when she took off the fucking wig and reviled she's a brunette. Oh, wait... That wasn't the point... There was something about the wig being Hannah, while her without the wig wasn't Hannah... Even though it's the same person... But it's not... Anyway, I had my first Hannah Montana moment! Thank you Amanda!

It was a busy evening last Sunday. Lor was cutting out the patterns to her dress, I was downloading a classic game to our generation called "American McGee, Alice." While playing the game after it downloaded Lor sat up from her pinning the pattern to the cloth. Her hand was on her lower abdomen, I asked her, "Babe, are you okay?" I first thought I would have to drive her to a hospital. She said, "It's that time of the month." First thought after she relieved me of her reasons behind the pain was, "Well, another month of not having babies! phew..." However, after some time of noticing she was in a bad way I said to her, "Love, draw up a bath and I'll get ya some Ice Cream." She looked at me in a very specific way when I know I've queued on the right thought and said to me, "I don't want you to get me ice cream and come home to me not wanting any." So, I insisted on the bath and told her I would be back in fifteen minutes.
Stop one: Went to WalMart because I realized we don't do baths, showers are the usual and maybe she'll just relax in a bubble bath. I pulled up to the Home/Garden aria of the store and began to walk up to the front doors of WalMart to find out the doors were locked and I would have to go into the store from the food market side. Really WalMart!? I planned my trip on the ONE side of the fucking store and I have to walk down and back for no reason! This is when I made the observation, WalMart use to have a Smiley Face for a symbol. Now it's like a fucked up star/flower thing. It's like they know they're pissing people off. I don't remember ever going into a WalMart and having a smile on my face, nor feeling like a star for that matter.
Anyway, I went into the soaps aria and found all alone in it's awesomeness the perfect bubble bath soap. Then I thought to myself, I could see her being uncomfortable without a bath pillow. So, I got one of those too. Finally, I realized it had been a long while since I had a bath too... Maybe some Bath Crayons would be nice. So I got myself some Crayons.
The next and final stop was to Harris Teeters. It's a more high end/ almost world market store and I feel blessed it's just down the street from home. I stopped in and immediately got the last two items to my mental list of things to get her.
As I come home, Lor is on the bathroom floor and I thought to myself another bad floodgate of thoughts. Like, maybe she hurt herself or is really not feeling good. I dropped everything to the floor and sat right next to her. She said to me, "What did you get love?"
By tone alone I realized she's just relaxing herself. I continued to pull out of the four plastic bags: Extra-Chocolate Moose Track Ice Cream, The Bath Pillow, Moscato blushed, and finally the Hello Kitty Strawberry Bubble Bath Soap. Lor almost lost herself and began to cry a little bit. And I couldn't have felt any better. She drew the bath immediately and I began making bowls of ice cream and cups of wine. She relaxed herself in the steamed bath, I sat outside of it and just sipped on the wine. Meanwhile, she looked in the bag and found the Colour Crayons I bought myself. She didn't know what they were. I explained the purpose and she was shocked. I guess when she was a little girl her parents never gave her colouring crayons for the bath tub. Which is weird for me. But then again, we're talking about me... My family isn't exactly normal either...
After the ice cream, wine and Hello Kitty awesomeness at hand. Lor was relaxed and buttered up with just having fun and feeling great. Her tummy wasn't hurting as bad and I stacked my deck of "awesome boyfriend points."
So, gentlemen, if you need schooling on how to make your girlfriend/fiance/wife thing the happiest lady in the world. A bubble bath goes a long, long way.

Finally, my friend at work Shay finally got her driver license. This is after the fact she failed the first time via Grand Theft Auto of my own car. She ran a stop sign. However, after a month of not being able to drive she got behind the wheel. Drove around work and then got pulled over by a cop. We got a "Warning" because we both explained I was teaching g her to drive. She's still new to driving and minding the laws of right of way. So with this said we drove for two hours and she went straight to the DMV. Which I'll go on record to say, they will go on lunch full well knowing people are waiting on them. +shakes head+ Well we went to WaWa and got ourselves a sub and then headed back. After a few minutes she was off to test. She passed and both of us were just relieved the struggle was over. 

No comments:

Post a Comment